[Anarchafeminists] [Fwd: [faf] call out for an article on sexist thoughts]

[butterflea at riseup.net]

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Subject: [faf] call out for an article on sexist thoughts
From:    papidan at no-log.org
Date:    Thu, January 28, 2010 7:47 am
To:      papidan at no-log.org
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Hi


I'm Dan. I've been part of the London Profeminist Mens Group for a couple
of years now
http://londonprofeministmensgroup.blogspot.com/

We are planning to put out a zine together. The core idea is to show that
Feminism Helps Men! We strongly believe that as much as we have a dominant
position in society as men, fighting against patriarchy and the
deconstruction of gender roles will make everyone happier including men!

As part of the zine, I would like to include a text/list of sexist
thoughts that come to men's minds in everyday life. These sort of
automatic thoughts that just pop up without us controlling them. I first
thought about that when I read a text called "Going To Places That Scare
Me: Personal Reflections On Challenging Male Supremacy" by Chris Crass
http://colours.mahost.org/articles/crass15.html

This is (one of) the bit of the text that I found very interesting: "When
I think back to that conversation with Nilou and her explaining how sexism
operated. I remember trying not to shutdown and I tried to listen. The
word "But" repeated over and over again in my mind, followed by “it was a
misunderstanding, I didn't mean it that way, I didn’t know you felt like
that, I wasn't trying to do that, I would love to see you participate
more, I don't understand, no one said they didn't want to hear what you
have to say, we all believe in equality, I love you and would never do
anything to hurt you, it was circumstances not sexism, I don't know what
to do.” Looking back ten years later, it’s amazing to me how often that
same list of “buts” comes running to mind. I’m more like those ‘other’ men
that I’d like to admit."

These are examples of these automatic thoughts in a very specific context
(being challenged as a man for a sexist behavior). But I would like to get
a wide range of examples, including different contexts (looking at a woman
in the street, heterosexual seduction situation, seeing a woman fixing
electricity etc.). These examples are not random, they are ones where I
found myself having sexist thoughts popping into my mind!

So I'm basically asking to men to share these thoughts and to agree on
them being printed on a zine (I can share mine with whoever wants to
contribute if they want me to, and my thoughts will be included in the
text obviously!). Of course they will be anonymised (unless people dont
want to).

I know its a very difficult exercise, and can be even painful or shameful
at moments. But to me it is a very important issue to try and make these
things visible, to be honest and transparent about them, to notice how
much sexism is engrained in our personalities, to share these thoughts
with others and realise that we're not the only ones having them. Also to
realise that they come from a system of oppression and that they are
blurring and distorting our relationships with other people...

thanks lots in advance

love and rage!

daniel