[ssf] Soap on a Rope

[dr who]

Manager :

	Come in Nurse, come in
	
	It's about that soap
	That you've been bringing in

Nurse :

	It seems to have cleared up
	That spate of post-op infections

	And freed up the beds

	They use it in the Midlands
	Where I do the odd F shift

Manager :

	Hmm ...

	Our regional supplier doesn't stock it
	So we're stuck I'm afraid
	But thanks for bringing it to my attention

Nurse :

	Hold on a minute Chief ?
	It works, it works !
	Can't we buy a box
	And see how it goes ?
	
	It's 57p per tub and we can get lots of scrubs per tub [ Smiling ]

Manager :

	Ah ...

	But we buy the soap regionally
	In bulk at half that price

	I'm afraid
	The budget won't stretch
	On this occasion

Nurse :

	You buy it at 37p per tub
	I've checked

	But I'm only asking for one box
	Not a ton of the stuff.
	Can't we get some with petty cash ?

Manager :

	You've got a good head for figures Nurse
  	I bet you would do my job
	If I wasn't careful [ Grinning ]

	Have you ever thought about entering management ?
  	There's good opportunities [ Smirking ]

Nurse :

	Thanks
	But no thanks
	I've got an alternative plan

	But back to the soap
	Or rather the beds
	Can't you see any benefit
	In freeing up the beds ?

Manager :

	Ah ...

  	Is this really a cry for help ... ?

  	Is the work getting you down ... ?

  	We've got a few Shirkers at the moment
  	Who aren't pulling their weight

  [ Manager pauses ]

	We've trimmed down to become more efficient for sure
  	But I've programmed enough nurses
  	To the *full number* of beds
  	If everyone would just pull their weight !

  [ Manager pauses ]

	You know
  	My overheads are just as high
  	If everyone comes to work
  	Or *half* my staff are absent ! [ Grimacing ]

Nurse :

	I don't know what you mean by Shirkers
	And perhaps we should leave it like that

	As I don't feel that soap
	Is your number one priority

[ The Nurse departs ]

[ Outside the Manager's room the Nurse meets an colleague. The colleague 
turns their hands up to the sky to signify an open question ]

Nurse :
	We don't get paid for having empty beds

	Apparently
	
[ And whispering ]

	That one would
	Spit the truth out
	To tell a lie

	That one would

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