[Ssf] HARSH READING BUT YOU MUST READ:

[worldwarfree at riseup.net]

I know I know there will be some erm what why etc others will make there
comments etc: However this a very changed copy and has taken a long time of
consderation etc: However due to events last weeks i feel the only means to
defend is to act: Me armchair are writeing more and haveing it checked legall
wise and no doubt it will be published: Here is the first part of this work
thanks to people for there help in geting this to this stage:

Several years ago I found out that my father was actually at Broadmore hospital
and through a third party had conversations with my father. Those conversations
were quite frank. My father did openly admit that he beat my mother and my two
siblings before I was born, from 1963 to 1965. He did openly admit that in
November of 1964 he was beating my mother on a regular basis and one incident
led to him raping my mother, following that rape she became impregnated with
myself. During the nine months of that pregnancy my father openly, again,
admits that he had the full intent of killing myself and my mother. This
continued for over three years. Its well aware that social services was
involved with the family. My mothers maiden name was . She was in local
authority care due to problems with her mother, i.e. my grandmother. Also
....... was in local authority care. At the age of sixteen my mother was
offered the opportunity of leaving care on the condition that she had to get
married and fulfil the requirement of becoming a settled person.  She met my
father, possibly in desperation, and they subsequently got married. I’m not
aware of any history pre-1963 as my mother hasn’t spoken about it and neither
has my father.  But I do understand that they did get married at the age of
sixteen, and basically it was a marriage that was doomed from day one, simply
because two inappropriate people got together. And simply, social services
would have been involved at that stage because they both had to come out of
care.

Following this my mother and my father had two children. my two siblings.  I’ve
never met these two siblings, no idea what they look like, who they are, where
they are, what they’re doing with their lives at this present time.  1965 I was
born, August 1965. As I’ve stated, for three years my father consistently beat
my mother at myself. There’s no doubt that I was an hyperactive child, I was
born with learning difficulties, severee learning difficulties in the form of
an high cleft pallet, tonsillitis and other medical difficulties which had
arisen in a speech defect that was quite severee until the age of thirteen
fourteen.

Due to the speech defect I was bullied as a youngster and due to the speech
defect from 1969-1971 I was bullied at H A Children’s Home which is H A,
Darnell, Sheffield. While at 37 H A, I was under the care of ........, and I
can’t remember the other lady’s name and four other workers. There method of
dealing with an hyperactive child was, you know, simply be strict, I regularly
had a ruler, a metal ruler struck across my knuckles.

I was regularly smacked and occasionally beaten for failing to talk properly,
for failing to walk properly etc etc. I was never given any real encouragement
in the proper manner to basically become a normal child as it would be. Their
method of dealing with me was brutality. This continued to 1971.

1971 I was placed in Todwick Grange, which is now in the Rotherham borough due
to land changes. But at that time it was in Sheffield. Todwick Grange has been
going since the 1950s. It was a childrens’s home for people with special needs
and learning difficulties. It had its own education unit within the schools
where most of the children attended. I didn’t attend school within the grounds,
they sent me to the school at Houndwood for the first initial year of being at
Todwick Grange.

Then I was moved to Attercliffe Carbrook School on Carbrook Common. And that is
where most of my early schooling took place. While at Todwick Grange during
evenings and at weekends yet again I was very severeely bullied by staff and
residents alike. And simply I would put this down to serious mismanagement and
inappropriate training of staff. Also at Todwick Grange one incident did take
place, and the two people have subsequently been prosecuted I understand,
several years ago, Christine and Keith who worked at Todwick Grange at the
time, were taking photographs at the time of the children, primarily naked
photographs. I’m not aware what it was used for. I’ve been told that it was
used for paedophilia etc etc but I’ve never been able to confirm this, or get
this denied. I do remember photographs being taken

Simply, 1971, 72, 73, 74. 1974 I was taken out of care by my mother who was
living with my uncle on West Don Street in Sheffield. My uncle very, very
severeely battered me on a regular basis. One incident I do remember very
clearly is when my mother came in, I remember it because of

Michael Benton’s Potty Time, very strange thing to remember, and basically, my
Auntie Christine had baked a really nice meat and potato pie. I dropped the
plate by accident, my uncle came in just literally picked me up and took me to
the kitchen.

Just as he was about to put my hand on the electric ring my mother walked in and
immediately grabbed me. That very evening I was taken back to Todwick Grange, at
Todwick Grange I remained for another six months. Nothing really happened while
at Todwick Grange because I was moved to the special care unit. Following that
they decided that they needed to move me again. They moved me to a unit called
Ryecroft Glen on Limb Lane. Ryecroft Glen at that time was 98% percent
afro-carribean people. I was one of only two white people within that
children’s home. Nothing, absolutely nothing happened within the year I was at
Ryecroft Glen. From 1976 to 77.

1977 I was transferred again to a unit called Ringinglow was an adult mental
health unit. By that time I had been banned from school, I was at a school
called Beely Wood which was just up the road from my mothers who was living on
Kelvin flats. The aim of that was to enable me to go to school during the day
and then at four o’clock leave school and go to my mothers up until six o’clock
in the evening and then six o’clock in the evening I was picked up by taxi and
taken back to Ringinglow  where I spent the evenings.

This continued for a period of six, possibly eight months until I was eventually
kicked out of Beely Wood School for disruptive behaviour. Once I was kicked out
of Beely Wood school I was spending most of my time within the unit at
Ringinglow being looked after primarily by a woman called ...... At that time 
I understand was having very serious problems with other members of staff.
Inappropriate sexual liaisons and so forth. And simply she was given the task
of looking after me from nine to five and simply she wasn’t equipped or enabled
to deal with an hyperactive child etc etc. I blame that again on ....... the
unit manager for inappropriate allocation of staff. Because of this I do not at
any stage blame ...... for what she did and I totally understand  why she did,
and she acted in the manner that she did do. But eventually did get tired of
trying to keep a very hyperactive thirteen, fourteen year old, a very
disruptive child calm. Her method of dealing with that was simply locking me
into the cupboards at Ringinglow for hours on end. I do remember being locked
in the cupboard for over 24 hours on one period. Simply, ...... said she forgot
that I was there and didn’t tell the other members of staff that I was there.
This happened on a regular basis [referring to being locked in cupboards,
though not necessarily for over 24 hours]. Eventually I was moved again from
Ringinglow  Before I was moved I was allocated to the school place at a special
unit at Cheltenham boys school at Cheltenham.

Simply the idea was to see if they could get me some special education via
Cheltenahm boys school. As I remember I visited Cheltenham Boys School,
everything was sorted out. I attended for the first term at Cheltenham boys
school and then came back to Sheffield, Rutland road for the holidays. For
three weeks I spent at Rutland Road, then I was transferred again down to
Cheltenham.

Then basically I came back to Sheffield and this time I was taken to a unit
called Shirecliffe Boy’s Home. Shirecliffe Boy’s Home can only be described as
hell on earth. If anybody has seen the films Scum or Borstal, its very akin to
what, you know, those films project into the consciousness of people. I was,
because of my learning difficulties, and being overweight and having a speech
defect I was very severeely bullied at Shirecliffe Boy’s Home. In fact on the
very first evening I spent at Shirecliffe Boy’s Home I was basically nicknamed
Quasimodo.

That name stuck for several years while at Shirecliffe Boy’s Home. I found this
very degrading and very humiliating. Other people found it very funny to call
me Quasimodo and to enact the character of Quasimodo, and, you know, try to get
me to enact the character.

Simply on the first night this happened. I was also told to strip naked in front
of twenty two boys, right, and put some pyjamas on. I was bewildered, scared,
and then I was placed into a large dorm of thirteen boys. For the first four
days I was bullied by the staff and the boys at that children’s home. I then
went back to boarding school and then came back to Sheffield for a three week
holiday that was then spent at Shirecliffe Boy’s Home. Then I went back to
boarding school again and within four weeks of going back to boarding school I
was banned or barred for glue sniffing, or being caught glue sniffing, in one
of the units at the boys school.

This period of exclusion was for a period of six months. I was ten taken back
again to Shirecliffe Boy’s Home. During that six months a member of staff by
the name of Geoff Little regularly abused me, in the form of sexual abuse. By
this stage I had been transferred to a single room and each evening about
eleven o’clock, eleven fifteen after .... had been in the pub, he would enter
this single room, with the knowledge of other members of staff, and then
proceed t, basically bugger me.

Then like turn around and say ‘Don’t tell anybody’ cos if you do they’ll just
turn around and say you enjoyed it etc etc. This continued for over six months.
I simply hadn’t related this story, this is only the third time that I’ve
related this story openly.

That then stopped. I was transferred back to boarding school and the summer
holidays, when I was about 15, were spent at Southampton which was quite nice.
Then I went back to boarding school for about eight weeks. Came back to
Sheffield about September, when I was 15. Simply I was placed in a large dorm
downstairs and simply within I’d say two weeks of me being there, which was a
four week holiday I was gang raped by thirteen boys in that dorm.

The dorm was also next door to the secure dorm and the secure dorm was supposed
to be secure as it suggests but the boys seemed to manage to be able to open
the door between the main dorm and the secure dorm and another six lads
proceeded in the gang rape of myself. This continued for over, I would say,
four possible five hours during the evening. I can’t remember the direct date
of times of this because somehow I’ve just blanked it out as much as I can
because of the nature of the event. However, the next morning, I do remember
this very clearly we woke at the usual time at seven o’clock. We was always
told to stand at the side of our beds, make our bed packs up and basically
carry out our bed packs with ourselves down to the shower room, and put our bed
packs  into the laundry.

When I got out of bed a member of staff ......, basically noted that I was
covered in blood and that it was dry, and that my pyjamas were dried to my
body. He then simply ordered me to leave the bed pack and go down to the main
hall. In the main hall he stood me in front of all of the boys in the
children’s home. He then proceeded to rip off the pyjamas causing extreme pain
and agony. Of course I was crying and was very distraught and the more I cried
and the more distraught I became, the more abusive he became towards me. He
then physically started to punch me. And I remember being punched literally
from one end of the hall to the other end of the hall.

You’ve got to remember that this hall is about twenty foot wide by about thirty
foot long, and about forty foot high. He then just basically battered me around
that hall quite severeely and then told me to go and have a shower. When I came
back into the hall he made me stand naked in the hall for fifteen minutes while
the boys came back into the hall after they’d finished their morning showers.
Following this he says, its obvious this man’s a pervert and he enjoys sexual
activity etc etc and we call these people fucking gay scum.

>From that moment I was then very severeely abused by a lot of the boys in that
children’s home. I had no choice but to report this to a senior member of
staff. The senior member of staff above Pete Clarke was Keith Barton. I did
report this to Keith Barton. And Keith Barton at dinner time turned around to
the rest of the, you know, in the dinning room, and told the rest of them that
I was a grass. That rumour has circulated for many years about myself, and
continues to circulate, even at the age of 39. It has caused me a lot of untold
stress, trouble and problems in my adult life. Following this I went to boarding
school. Came back to Shirecliffe Boy’s Home for the last time, er, I was bullied
again at Shirecliffe Boy’s Home, but nothing very severee. Just verbal bullying.
I was then at the age of sixteen moved just after finishing school to a unit at
Rutland Road.

R R was an adult mental health unit for people with learning difficulties and
mental health issues.


At R R i was forcibly medicated on a regular basis, that means every day, I was
jumped by four, maybe six staff, injected by a needle of unknown medication
against my will. I was also aware, very aware, that inappropriate sexual
liaisons was going on between staff and clients. Clients who had very severee
learning difficulties, some with down Syndrome.

Simply I participated in some of these activities because it was perceived as a
normal activity at the children’s home. This went on from that age of sixteen
to the age of seventeen. I do not work out for the life of me, why occasionally
I was taken out of R Rand put into Shirecliffe Boys Home during the day, or
during weekends, and then taken back to R R. This was happening continuously
for a year. And I was being forcibly medicated and basically other sexual
activities that I did not take part in, only on two occasions, were going on
around me.

At the age of seventeen I was, basically, admitted to Middlewood hospital on a
section. By this time I had got a very serious glue habit. That section was
illegal. J D, a solicitor who I have seen within the last few years was my
solicitor at the time. Basically, was dealing with a  shop lifting offence and
other offences that I’d committed, he simply realised that I was on an illegal
section at Middlewood hospital and by the age of eighteen had got me away from
that.

I was released from Middlewood hospital at the age of eighteen back into the
community to, firstly a night shelter called Gell Street, a night shelter for
homeless men. That lasted for about two weeks. Then I was moved again, or moved
myself to a, what was it called, can’t remember now, bit I was moved to a young
person’s night shelter opposite Highfield’s library off London Road, simply for
six months I stayed there.

I was yet again bullied very severely while I was at that unit. At the age of
eighteen and a half I secured bed and breakfast accommodation on Derbyshire
Lane. By this time I had acquired a very serious smack habit. To be quite
honest I can’t really remember from the age of eighteen and a half to the age
of twenty one. I do remember some parts of that period of time. I remember
being involved with some anarchists, I also remember being involved with a food
coop called , and I do admit that I was stealing money from Sources for my smack
habit and I was also doing shoplifting and selling stolen goods to the
anarchist, vegan community of Sheffield who I will say was totally unaware that
I had a smack habit, I don’t know how I managed to keep it quiet but I did do.
It has emerged that two people did know I had a smack habit, one called ....,
and a lady called ...... she did admit to regularly putting more money into the
food coop tin cos she was aware, but she didn’t want to condone me or do
anything, and she thought that that was the best way to deal with it. And Mike
was readily putting a bit more into the tin of the food coop as well. Because
he was aware that it was happening.

At the age of 21 I’d met a man called .... who was at Sheffield University at
that time.  basically locked me into a room for six months, on Heeley, and
simply got me off the smack through a process of giving me good food, lots of
love and cannabis basically.

First time I’d been introduced to cannabis. By the age of 21 and a half I had
come off smack. But by the age of 22 I had developed a very serious alcohol
problem, partly due to being involved in revolutionary politics. It followed
basically, you go to meetings, after meetings you go to pubs and everybody is
buying each other drinks. And basically it was a good way of freeloading
alcohol. That continued right up to the age of, I would say, twenty five,
twenty six.

I was just basically living in council accommodation that sometimes collapsed.
Once that collapsed I was then living in bed and breakfast accommodation, once
that collapsed I was living in squats.  Its too numerous to remember the whole
detail of that period of time.

Age of 27 things started to level down a little bit, people started, then I
started to repel what was happening towards me, people showing their respect
and love towards me.




I had become involved with the Christian community in Sheffield, and basically I
do remember being involved with two people , or I should say. I’d met them
through a short stay at Northlands. Northlands at that time was a unit for
adults who was coming out of either hospital - I had been in hospital again so
I had been transferred to Northlands - ....was my worker at Northlands.

He basically struck up a very serious friendship with me and started inviting me
round to his house. Things started to go sadly wrong because I made them go
wrong by stealing from .... and .... on a regular basis. And the reason I was
stealing was basically to get them to become pissed off with me. And eventually
they did become pissed off with me and  just told me to fuck off. And from the
age of, I met Andy at the age of 28 ... probably, maybe 29.

 Initially. I then become involved in what was the punk community of Sheffield.
It has been the punk community of Sheffield that did rescue me, and did show me
different paths. Its quite strange, you get this idea that punks are so
destructive and whatever. But the punk community of Sheffield were quite
awesome, and quite supportive of each other, very much supportive of each
other, and allowed people to kip on floors and stuff like that. And that’s
basically it.

Although I would also say from 1997 to the present day I feel that Sheffield
Care trust actions and behaviour towards me have been inappropriate, and....
has admitted on a number of occasions, quite openly on occasions and did admit
on Tuesday that he felt that members of staff wasn’t given adequate support and
he feels that that’s possibly why things started to deteriorate and to this day,
at this present moment I am currently living in a warehouse in Shalesmore, with
two smack heads. Which is not good psychologically or physically for myself. I
am also having to sell the big issue which is quite humiliating to say the
least because basically this big, cool like, nothing gets to me kind of person
is now selling the big issue. So basically I’m a bit on edge, very much on edge
on a daily basis.

mozaz