[ssf] uv :: iv ) double dutch and the arctic mondays

amadan mor adam at diamat.org.uk
Mon Apr 30 12:25:05 BST 2007


   [[ play track 1 :: sugarbabes :: *easy* ]]




   [ ch ]

  what you think of the sugarbabes

      [ sc ]

     i think they're ok

   [ ch ]

  ok,

  ok
      [ sc ]

     yeah they're ok

         [ ra ]

        i thought you like them

      [ sc ]

     yes they're ok

   [ ch ]

  ok
      [ sc ]

     yeah ... i said they're ok
     didn't i

   [ ch ]

  oooh ...

  did we get out the wrong side of bed this morning

      [ sc ]

     no, well,
     at least i don't think so

         [ ra ]

        you were out last night weren't you --
        meeting with the games consultants

   [ ch ]

  is that what he told you he was doing --

  he told me he had to stay in and fix a washing machine


   [[ a voice-over ::  i saw him at a gig ]]


      [ ra & ch ]

     you were at a gig

      [ sc ]

     that's just a voice-over

   [ ch ]

  what were you doing then

      [ sc ]

     just busy


   [[ a voice-over ::  oh just honey busy baby candy store ]]


         [ ra ]

        is that alex

   [ ch ]

  wait on a minute --

   are those voice-overs
   some of the answers
   to today's multiple-choice

      [ sc ]

     maybe

   [ ch ]

  what do you mean 'maybe' --

   how can anyone ring in
   if they don't know
   what the answers are

      [ sc ]

     beats me

   [ ch ]

  well you astound me --

  we're only here as holiday cover --
  we can soon be relieved

         [ ra ]

        he's winding you up --
        he must have met with the games consultants
        if he's got the answers --
          the voice-overs

   [ ch ]

  so you weren't fixing your washing machine then

      [ sc ]

     i didn't have to in the end

         [ ra ]

        mmm ... i suspect it wasn't broken

   [ ch ]

  was it broken

         [ ra ]

        i smell a white-lie
        he didn't want you there
        to meet with the games consultants

   [ ch ]

  was it a white-lie

      [ sc ]

     nnff ...

     dunno about that
     but it's a white washing-machine
     and i wouldn't have minded you
     being there
     tellme --
      do you know anything about gas cookers


   [[ a voice-over ::  edward scissor sister paper domesticity ]]


         [ ra ]

        is that the third answer --
         answer c

   [ ch ]

  what was the question again

         [ ra ]

        i don't think we've had the question yet

      [ sc ]

     it's in that folder i gave you

         [ ra ]

        which folder

      [ sc ]

     the one i gave you when we clocked on
     remember --
      you said you like the cover

         [ ra ]

        oh ...

        that's a lovely folder

   [ ch ]

  wait on on a minute
  how come i didn't get a lovely folder

      [ sc ]

     i only had the one
     and you weren't there
     when we clocked on
     but you can copy it if you like
     if we can find the folder

         [ ra ]

        it's not lost
        but there's nothing in it
        save a blank sheet
        and i've used it for something else

   [ ch ]

  wait on a minute
  how come i didn't get a blank sheet

      [ sc ]

     dunno,
     here have this one --

      it's a copy mind

   [ ch ]

  but it's a blank sheet --
  it doesn't say anything --

   didn't the games consultants
   give you today's question

      [ sc ]

     yeah,
     they put it in that folder to remind me

         [ ra ]

        the only thing in that folder was a blank sheet

   [ ch ]

  yes ...

  and here's a copy

      [ sc ]

     oh ... thanks

     now i remember

     lets play the next track
     and i fill you in ...




   [[ play track 2 :: nelly furtado,
      bloc party cover :: *say it right* ]]




      [ sc ]

     did you like that track
     who'd have thought they'd
     have covered that

   [ ch ]

  yeah,

  i'm still thinking about it though --
   it's wrong somehow

         [ ra ]

        i like it

   [ ch ]

  you back then --
  snack-hunter --

   i thought you were on diet

         [ ra ]

        i am --

        it's a new snack diet

      [ sc ]

     'cuse me
     but before we get flash-mobbed
     by jamie oliver's army
     can you take a second
     and describe what you're eating please

         [ ra ]

        it's a nut bar

   [ ch ]

  a nut bar

         [ ra ]

        yes a nut bar

      [ sc ]

     yes, but it's not any old nut bar
     though is it

         [ ra munching ]

        apparently nut

        you tell 'em

      [ sc ]

     it's a green nut bar

   [ ch ]

  it doesn't look green to me

      [ sc ]

     well maybe that because we're on radio chekhov --
     what colour does it look to you

   [ ch ]

  brown,
  well, white,
  well, what's them black bits

         [ ra munching ]

        foffy feeds

   [ ch ]

  foffy feeds

      [ sc ]

     yes -- foffy feeds
     and what do those red bits taste like

         [ ra munching ]

        feeds foo

   [ ch ]

  feeds foo

      [ sc ]

     yes -- its full of feeds
     and its green

     do you wanta hear the question then

         [ ra munching ]

        fich squestion

      [ sc ]

     the one from the games consultant

     you know --
     i gave you the folder

   [ ch ]

  please don't start that again

      [ sc ]

     i gave you a copy

   [ ch ]

  i didn't get a copy of the folder
  i only got a copy of the blank sheet

      [ sc ]

     yes and you gave it me back
     boyo --
      here
      have another one
      there's loads

   [ ch ]

  but that's just the wrapping paper
  off the nut bar

      [ sc ]

     yeah aknow

   [ ch ]

  but it's been folded
  and there's bits all over it

      [ sc ]

     yeah aknow

     i like it, its green


   [[ a voice-over :: *the reverend green* ]]


         [ ra munching ]

        ffots that

   [ ch ]

  its the game
  you missed it whilst you were out
  snack-hunter

         [ ra munching ]

        i like games
         what is it

   [ ch ]

   cluedo
   apparently --
   although i don't quite know what to believe
   at this present moment --
    but whilst the last track was playing
    it was explained to me
    that the game consultants
    wish for our young whipper snapper here
    to reconnect with our middle age audience
    and have given him a character
    to role play in a new realty
    big-sister game show

         [ ra ]

        ow ... you'll like that --
        practice you're haircare
        very nice

      [ sc ]

     yes, well
     i thought so too

     but nothing quite ever turns out like you'd imagine
     does it

   [ ch ]

  don't worry
  there should be blokes there

      [ sc ]

     what d'you mean

   [ ch ]

  you know what i mean

  hey --

   who's playing miss scarlet


   [[ a voice-over :: *miss scarlet* ]]


      [ sc ]

     its on the sheet i gave you
     except the sheet is now red


   [[ a voice-over :: just sugar busy baby candy store ]]


   [ ch ]

   wait on a minute --
    is that why you didn't want me around last night

   hey --
   hold on a second --
    is that why you wanted to fix
    the washing machine --

     are you all shacked up now
     has the game began

      [ sc ]

     er ... kinda

   [ ch ]

  what d'you mean 'kinda'

         [ ra ]

        you fancy one of the sugarbabes
        don't you

      [ sc ]

     what makes you say that

         [ ra ]

        you told me once
        you said 'isn't she just lovely'

      [ sc ]

     yes ... well
     why do you turn 'lovely' in to 'fancy'

         [ ra ]

        what else could you have meant

      [ sc ]

     just that for whatever reasons
     she, or rather they
     stir that particular emotion in me

   [ ch ]

  what particular emotion

  hey --
  are you shacked up with one of the sugarbabes

      [ sc ]

     i really can't say
     but its on that sheet of paper i gave you

   [ ch ]

  never --
  you're not shacked up in a candy shop
  are you

      [ sc ]

     well,
     i wouldn't put it like that
     these things are never what they appear you know

     and any way
     other than the usual cluedo duties
     i've got housekeeping duties to do too

     i'm kept pretty busy
     idle hands and all that

         [ ra ]

        i thought you said your duties were pretty light

      [ sc ]

     yes ...

     pretty busy light housekeeping duties

   [ ch ]

  never

      [ sc ]

     yeah, never

     here's the next track

     i'll tell you some more ...




   [[ play track 3 :: calvin harris :: *acceptable in the 80s* ]]




      [ sc ]

     welcome back --

      what's that thudding

   [ ch ]

  oh ...

  that's me --
   my foots still tapping

      [ sc ]

     do you like that track then

   [ ch ]

  yeah ... 'i've got hugs for you' --
   it's very catchy

         [ ra ]

        the sugarbabes must have been born in the eighties

      [ sc ]

     yes, i guess --

     why,

     oh ... do you wanna here the tale

         [ ra ]

        which tale

      [ sc ]

     the scenario in the big-sister house

         [ ra ]

        what -- the cluedo

      [ sc ]

     yes -- the cluedo

     my character is given a role to play --
     i have family and everything

         [ ra ]

        i thought you were the reverend green

   [ ch ]

  reverend's are allowed family aren't they --
  everyone's got a family --

  what is it --
    is mrs white your auntie or something

      [ sc ]

     no,
     well at least i don't think so --
     we've not got that far yet

     er ...

     but i found out,
     i used to go-out with professor plum

     er ...

     we have children and everything

   [ ch ]

  and everything


    [[ a voice-over ::  *the professor plum* ]]


      [ sc ]

     yeah, apparently

   [ ch ]

  what's this professor plum like

      [ sc ]

     you know --
     ok

         [ ra ]

        ok

      [ sc ]

     yes --
     she's ok

   [ ch ]

  have you got any pictures

      [ sc ]

     yeah --
     here's a clip

     oh, not that one,
     that's way back when
     in the flicker book --

     this one's more uptodate

   [ ch ]

  wow

  whose that --
   who are they

         [ ra ]

        they're city girls --
         is it the same actress
         who plays the younger professor plum
         and the daughter

   [ ch ]

  wow

  ah -- she looks like the one --
   the sugarbabe you like

      [ sc ]

     no --
     they are different actors

         [ ra reaching for controls ]

        and the older one --
        you seem to spend a lot of time
        with that character

      [ sc ]

     yes --
     she's the same actress
     as one of the younger ones

   [ ch ]

  wow ...

  must be good make-up

         [ ra guffaws ]

      [ sc ]

     what do you mean 'good make-up'

   [ ch ]

  you know --
   the old flubber

      [ sc ]

     'the old flubber' --

     who said the age of chivalry was dead

   [ ch ]

  oh ... don't be like that --

   i only meant ...

         [ ra leans over and runs clip of mrs white ]


    [[ a voice-over :: *mrs white* ]]


   [ ch ]

  wow

      [ sc ]

     wow what

   [ ch ]

  oh ... i've put my foot in it again
    haven't i

    i was only thinking ...

      [ sc ]

     only thinking what

         [ ra ]

        isn't the game to connect with the middle age audience

   [ ch ]

  oh ...
   yes,
    well,
     i was only thinking ...

      well, arne't all those plum actresses plumb --
       maybe they have the plumb gene or something

         [ ra ]

        while mrs white appears to have an unplumb gene

   [ ch ]

  exactly

      [ sc ]

     man

   [ ch ]

  what --
   its a big issue in today's society --
   whether you've got a plumb or an unplumb gene --
   an issue for the middle age and our younger audience alike

      [ sc ]

     man, here ...
     i'm going to play the next track
     to cheer myself up ...
     while i fill you in more
     about the plumb and unplumb jeans
     in the flicker books ...




   [[ play track 4 :: beyoncé, shakira :: *beautiful liar* ]]




         [ ra ]

        whose that

   [ ch ]

  you know who that was

         [ ra ]

        no, not the singers silly --

         the new bird


     [[ a voice-over :: *mrs peacock* ]]


   [ ch sniffs at blank blue sheet ]

  'new' bird

         [ ra ]

        oh, i meant 'new' as in recent
        not 'new' as in hmmm,
        as in hmmm ...

   [ ch ]

  freshness

         [ ra guffaws ]

        put it away,
        he's coming now look, yikes

      [ sc ]

     allo allo
     you can't resist it can you

   [ ch ]

  i'm just trying to get to the bottom of things

  what kept you

      [ sc ]

     what do you mean what kept me

   [ ch ]

  well
  you were late back

      [ sc ]

      it took me longer than i expected

         [ ra ]

        did you have time to wash your hands

      [ sc ]

     yes, that's why i am late back

   [ ch ]

  it must have been a long one then

      [ sc ]

     oh ... stop it you two

     here, let's put that one back in the box

     big-sister does't want more than a general character portraying

   [ ch ]

  are your hands dry

         [ ra ]

        hey --
        how come all the characters are female

   [ ch ]

  yeah ...

  i was wondering that ...

         [ ra ]

        or more to the point

        why they pick you as the reverend green

         no --

           he said that
           not me ...

            ... while you were at the loo

   [ ch ]

  oh, thanks

         [ ra ]

        well, you did

   [ ch ]

  hey --
  is k.t. tunstell
  one of the young mrs peacocks

      [ sc ]

     you like her
     don't you

   [ ch ]

  yes, well --

   don't you

      [ sc ]

     she's ok

         [ ra ]

        she's a regular girl around town

   [ ch ]

  she's very ok

      [ sc ]

     yes
     she's lovely

   [ ch ]

  is she as lovely as that in real life

      [ sc ]

     as lovely as what

   [ ch ]

  you know  --
   as that

      [ sc ]

     i've been told so

   [ ch ]

  what do you mean 'told so' --
  isn't she living in the big-sister house with you --
  some of the clips we played
   you seem to be holding hands and everything

         [ ra ]

        yes ...
        but he holds hands with everyone

        whoops ...
        nearly fell of my stool there ...
        don't mind me boys ...

        you were saying ...

   [ ch ]

  how come right,

        no ...

        you're trying to distract me ...

  what i'm really wondering is

  you know how the actress who plays the younger plum

  looks a bit like the one who plays the younger peacock

      [ sc ]

     she doesn't does she

   [ ch ]

  or am i getting her mixed up
  with that lass from texas,
  or her from black books --

    is she in the big-sister household too --
    you look like you're really holding hands with that actress

   but my point's still the same --

    you know, right
    how you get to be a daddy to the younger plum, right
    you've played a few scenes with her, right

      [ sc ]

     yes, right

   [ ch ]

  is it wrong to hold hands
  with a 'new' mrs peacock
  who resembles an 'old' baby plum

      [ sc ]

     yes,
     interesting --
      let's leave that one to the listeners
      shall we --
      usual text numbers please


      have we got time for one last track
      before the news

      did you choose a track

         [ ra ]

        who me

      [ sc ]

     yes you
     while i went to the loo, remember

         [ ra ]

        oh yes, here

   [ ch ]

   why didn't you ask me to pick a track

      [ sc ]

        how long is it,

        is it that one

        oh, we've got lots of time
        up our sleeve


   er, you were busy --

   you know just now,
   you asked if
   the younger mrs peacock
   was lovely in real life

   [ ch ]

   yeah, k.t. tunstell

      [ sc ]

      you think --
      i know i've thought of
       isabella rossellini
       and sometimes
       john noakes --
        but lets say
        she's k.t. tunstell

   [ ch ]

  yeah, go on then
  lets say that

      [ sc ]

     and you want to know
     in what ways she's lovely in real life

   [ ch ]

  yeah

      [ sc ]

     well ...

     i don't know

   [ ch ]

   what do you mean you don't know

      [ sc ]

     it's just that,
     i don't know her socially really
     we've just had a few scenes so far
      and am not sure if there's any more's to be acted

   [ ch ]

   aren't you bothered

         [ ra ]

        i can tell she stirs an emotion in you
        i can tell by how you hold hands

   [ ch ]

   yeah ...
   but he holds hands with everyone

   whoops ...

      [ sc ]

     yes, whoops indeed

     here, hold my hand

   [ ch ]

   get off me will you
   stop messing
   get off

      [ sc ]

     no, go on

     hold my hands

         [ ra ]

        now now boys
        shall i put the next track on
        here goes ...




   [[ play track 5 :: infernal :: *from paris to berlin* ]]



   [[ the news and sport with george and mark ::

      days that shook the world ::
      http://tinyurl.com/2sehzt [1]


      an emergency program of monetary reform
      for the united states ::
      http://tinyurl.com/2lubby [2]                      ]]




      [ sc ]

     hello treacle,
     for those listers
     who have just joined us ...

   [ ch ]

  hold on a minute --

   were you on the wine last night

      [ sc ]

     why do you ask

   [ ch ]

  you know --

   you were just coming out
   as i was going in

      [ sc ]

     in
     out
     where

   [ ch ]

  you know --
   i pushed past you at the door
   chatting to that chap in uniform

      [ sc ]

     oh ...
     the toilet

   [ ch ]

  yeah --

   well, were you

      [ sc ]

     was i what

   [ ch ]

  on the wine last night

         [ ra ]

        he might have been doing a number 2

   [ ch ]

  that's a thought

         [ ra ]

        he might have had a nut casserole --
        who cooked last night in big-sister --

         'a little wine with that sir'

   [ ch ]

  that's another thought --
  he might have being doing
  a second number 1

         [ ra ]

        or a number 1 and number 2
        at the same time

        whoops ...

        where's my seat gone again,
        just a swivel

      [ sc ]

     yes, quite

     mrs white was cooking last night

     here,

     i'll show you ...

     i have some clips ...

         [ ra ]

        this ones very domestic --

   [ ch ]

   wow, you've got kids
   bouncing all over you
   how many, 1,2,3,4
   no there's more
   wow you're busy

         [ ra ]

        yes, 1,2,3,4
        who's that knocking
        at the door


    [[ a voice-over :: *mrs white* ]]


   [ ch ]

  wow, she's hot

      [ sc ]

      well she's busy


   [ ch ]

  no, not that kinda hot --
   hot, hot

      [ sc ]

    oy learer --
    she's spoken for

   [ ch ]

  oooh ...

  did i touch a raw nerve ...

  hold on a minute ...

  what i am i talking about ...

  what gives with this game --

   how come, right --

   all the other characters are women

      [ sc ]

     there not

     here look

   [ ch ]

  oh ...

  that's that chap in uniform
  out of uniform --

         [ ra ]

        no, that's a different actor

   [ ch ]

  hold on a minute --
  he's got children bouncing all over him

  man he's busy

  well you both are
  now's he's gone

  it's just you,
  no mrs white's back
  she's in a uniform now

         [ ra ]

        like village people

   [ ch ]

  oh ... and another one too

         [ ra ]

         who is that
         jane russell,
         jean simmons

   [ ch ]

   who, no look
   she's bending, jane seymore
   look, what's that, rose tattoo
   oh, have you seen lydia --
    up again

     an older look-alike now
     she's all flubbed up
     and tattooed too

    -- wow !
       did you hear that !
       is that tourettes in the big-sister house
       look !

   they're all at it now --

   man, you're covered in kids when that happens

   it looks like you make a good daddy

         [ ra ]

        yes ...

        but there's good daddies

        and then there's good dads

      [ sc ]

     yes, quite

   [ ch ]

   oh what --
   how did that stop

   i thought that would come to blows

      [ sc ]

     yeah ...

     that's their mother

         [ ra ]

       is big-sister being aired
       on the discovery channel

      [ sc ]

     dunno,
     i think it's still in negotiation

     oprah winfrey like

     oh ...

     i saw made in america
     last night on the goggle box --
      do you that bit with the elephant ...


   [ ch ]

  hold on a minute --
  you know those two young professor plump actresses

      [ sc ]

     it is plum
     not plump

   [ ch ]

  don't be like that --
   i told you off air
   in our plump jean debate
   that it really didn't matter to me
   how beautiful a women was
   i find flubber unattractive

      [ sc ]

     well, you told me
     you preferred beyoncé
     more in dreamgirls
     than in pink panther

   [ ch ]

  yes,

  i have a preference --
  everyone's got preferences

       [ ra ]

      where does it say that
      on this blank sheet

      whoops --
       that's wrong --
       you're not in the game are you

   [ ch ]

  i am not, no --
   how come right ...

         no,
         you're trying to distract me again

  what i'm really wondering is
  where are these plums from --

   they're foreign aren't they

      [ sc ]

     yes

   [ ch ]

  where are they from then

     [ sc ]

    flubberland --
     it's the place where you inherit ...

     flubbergenes

   [ ch ]

  don't be like that

     [ sc ]

    they make flubberjeans there too --
    it's a booming trade

       [ ra ]

       you've got some flubberjeans haven't you --

       don't you call them slacks

     [ sc ]

    what

         [ ra ]

        the trousers --
         slacks

   [ ch ]

  i'm not going to get an answer
  am i

      [ sc ]

     to what

   [ ch ]

  to where the plum lasses are from

      [ sc ]

     you have an answer
     -- they are foreign

   [ ch ]

  oh ... blinking heck

         [ ra takes controls ]

        it's mentioned on this clip ...



   [[   [ reverend green ]

       you made it in time then --
        you must have if
        she's not come back with you

           [ professor plum ]

          just --
           we thought she might
           have to take a later flight
           but ryan-air waved her through

          it was good to see her --
           she's looking well
           don't you think

        [ reverend green blank ]

           [ professor plum ]

          well --
           don't you think

        [ reverend green ]

       yes, she always looks well --
        it's just,
         do you think there's something wrong
         with her thyroxine levels

           [ professor plum ]

          no --
           we've just had them checked

          oh --
           you mean her weight

        [ reverend green ]

       yeah --
        i didn't want to mention it
        i suppose her job's very sedentary

           [ professor plum ]

          no it's not that
          i talked to her about it --

           can you remember
           when i was her age

        [ reverend green ]

       yeah ...
        i've still got
        some of the scars

           [ professor plum ]

          well, precisely
          when she's slim
          the amount of attention she gets
          she'd need a bodyguard --
           it's all wrong y'know              ]]



         [ ra ]

        pretty good make-up

      [ sc ]

     well,
     every librarian has a theory --

     let's play the next track
     shall we,
     while i search the folder
     for today's question ...




   [[ play track 6 ::  westlife :: *the rose* ]]




      [ sc ]

     welcome back pop-pickers

     for those folk
     that have just joined us

     and for everyone else i suppose --

      today's question is ...

   [ ch ]

  hey,
   hold on a minute  --
   i thought you said
   those plum girls were foreign

      [ sc ]

     well they are

   [ ch ]

  well ireland's not foreign is it

      [ sc ]

     well it is
     and it isn't --
      isn't it

         [ ra ]

        guys --

        have you seen a kit-kat bar

        oh ... i'm sitting on it

        don't mind me

        continue please

    [ ch ]

   i thought you were on that nut diet

         [ ra ]

        i am, but i'm being a bit greedy
        i'm on two diets now --
         but the kit-kat's not for eating --
         its a psychological diet --

          i'm supposed to keep this one
          on my desk
          in a box
          just to remind me
          not to eat it

      [ sc ]

     curious -- what's the diet called

         [ ra ]

        oh ...

        hold on a second

        where's the wrapper,
        off that green nut-bar

        or here we go ...

        i was sitting on that too --

         it's called the kit-kat in a box experimental diet

    [ ch ]

   never, let's have a look

   ow -- that hurt
   it's the same finger
   i caught in that mouse-trap

   what you do that for

        [ ra ]

       you've got your own copy greedy

       i thought you liked the blue one --

        is the young mrs peacock
        from ireland too

    [ ch ]

   no, she's scottish isn't she

      [ sc ]

     scottish, irish
     take you pick
     what's the difference

    [ ch ]

  don't say that --
  there's loads of differences
   they have different cultures don't they

      [ sc ]

     well there is that yes
     but i meant scottish means irish in latin

     so what's the difference really

    [ ch ]

   well
   scotland is part of our country,
   and it has been for a very long time --
    we have the same currency don't we

    and as you said
    ireland is still a bit foreign
    it has its own language and everything

      [ sc ]

     did i say that

    [ ch ]

   yes, just now

        [ ra ]

       i can't understand tourettes
        its like a foreign language to me

    [ ch ]

   i know what you mean ...

   i think they're funny though

      [ sc ]

     do you

    [ ch ]

   what have i said now

         [ ra leans over and runs clip of mrs white
           and sc driving a grey volvo ]

        here's an english rose ...

         what bridge is this

      [ sc ]

     the forth i think

     yes ... i remember

    [ ch ]

   she looks young

        [ ra ]

       she's been crying
       but she seems happy

    [ ch ]

   that's probably stockholm syndrome
   he's probably kidnapped her

        [ ra ]

       or cat-nipped her

      [ sc ]

     wow ...

     why the double-barrel

        [ ra ]

       i'm just conscious of the time

       do you know this cluedo game your playing
       in the big-sister house

       are we allowed to know
       what is the crime

    [ ch ]

   it's dr black isn't it --
   someone's killed dr black

      [ sc ]

     yeah, kinda

     well that's how it began

     but the funniest thing happened you know

     well a few times actually

        [ ra ]

       i bet this has to do with hand-holding

    [ ch ]

    is this an adult serial

      [ sc ]

     like kelloggs,

     it has it's moments

        [ ra ]

       well every couple has their moment --

       lets play the next track shall we

       while we review some of the content

       off air ...




   [[ play track 7 ::  bodyrox ft. luciana :: *yeah yeah* ]]




        [ ra ]

       where is he

    [ ch ]

   i think he's gone
   to the loo again --
    he must have been on the wine --

    did you get big-sister's number

        [ ra ]

       yes,
        it was in the file

    [ ch ]

   and ...

        [ ra ]

       and they said to play this clip
       as a trailer for the stuff
       to be aired
       post water-shed

    [ ch ]

   he's driving that volver again
   who's that next to him --
    is that a young young mrs white

        [ ra ]

       no,
       i think it's another actor

    [ ch ]

   there's another baby in the back --
   and miss young young kneeling in the front-seat now
      wow,
       there's that tattoo again ...



   [[   [ miss young young smiling ]

       what you staring at

           [ reverend green ]

          i don't know --
           the labels fallen off

         [ miss young young smiling ]

        no, go on,
        you were looking at something

           [ reverend green blank ]

         [ miss young young ]

          no go on,
          say it

           [ reverend green blank ]

         [ miss young young ]

        say it ...

        say it

           [ reverend green ]

          are you a child

         [ miss young young blank ]


           [ reverend green ]

          well, are you

         [ miss young young ]

        yes                           ]]



      [ sc ]

     allo allo,
     did you get permission
     to play this clip

    [ ch ]

   yes,
   did you wash your hands

      [ sc ]

     oh ...
      she's sad
       i don't like her being sad
       well i don't like it when anyone's sad
        but this one's my fault

    [ ch ]

   why

        [ ra ]

         what bridge is this

      [ sc ]

         it's one across the severn --

   in an earlier scene
   the reason becomes apparent --

    is this scene still playing
     oh ... here we go --
      this points to something ...



   [[      [ reverend green ]

          are you alright

         [ miss young young ]

        shut up

        i don't want to know

           [ reverend green ]

         listen ...

         [ miss young young ]

        no you listen to me,
        i mean it,
        shut it  --
         and think hard,
          think very hard --
          what options do i have,
          before you start this time   ]]



      [ sc ]

     let's pause that there then
     shall we

    [ ch ]

    ooo ... spoil sport
    just as it was getting interesting

      [ sc ]

     you can watch it
     after the water-shed --

      and do you know what

    [ ch ]

   what

      [ sc ]

     we've not asked
     today's multiple choice yet

     have you got the folder

    [ ch ]

   no,
   i didn't get a copy

        [ ra ]

       what about the blank sheet

     [ ch ]

    yes,
    i got a copy of that

    oh ... hold on a second --

     what i've been meaning to ask, right
     is you know this job,
     in the big-sister house

      [ sc ]

     yeah

     [ ch ]

     was it advertised

      [ sc ]

     i don't know,
     why

     [ ch ]

    well,
    it seems like it may be a good job

        [ ra ]

       well they say the best jobs
       are never advertised

     [ ch ]

    do they

        [ ra ]

        yes they do

     [ ch ]

    is that how you became the reverend green then,
    applying for an unadvertised job

      [ sc ]

     no
     i was working already
     wasn't i --

      on this network

     [ ch ]

    hold on a minute --

    will you get a percentage
    if big-sister syndicates

      [ sc ]

     a percentage of what

     [ ch ]

    of the royalties

      [ sc ]

     i shouldn't have thought so --
      it's educational isn't it

     [ ch ]

    someone will be getting royalties from it

      [ sc ]

     never

        [ ra ]

       someone always does

      [ sc ]

     do they

     [ ch ]

    has that cheesed you off now

      [ sc ]

     well the bills always need paying

        [ ra leans over and plays clip ]

       sorry you were saying

       oh ... look

       there's both of you earlier
       outside the loo --

        you chatting to that chap in uniform,
        you pushing past

        what's that falling from your wallet

      [ sc ]

     photos

        [ ra ]

       yes, we can see that --

       but photos of whom

      [ sc ]

     some in-laws

        [ ra ]

       more in-laws

     [ ch ]

    blinking heck,
     you've got loads

    she looks pretty --
     the one in the head-shot

      [ sc ]

     dosen't she just --

     she's dead now though

     [ ch ]

    oh ... i am sorry

      [ sc ]

     why,
     did you kill her

     [ ch ]

    no --

    that's a very strange question to ask

      [ sc ]

     no it's not --

     not if you're playing cluedo

     [ ch ]

    oh,

    i get you now

        [ ra ]

       ... and the women in the wheel-chair

       was she playing cluedo too

      [ sc ]

     no,
     well, i don't know --

      i guess she is now --
      i've not met her yet

      i've not as yet
      had time

        [ ra ]

       why,
       is her bit being shot out of sequence

      [ sc ]

     no, i don't think so --

      her, or rather our bit
      seems to fit in to some sort of pattern,
      but we became in-laws by proxy

     [ ch ]

    by proxy

      [ sc ]

     yes, by proxy

     [ ch ]

    hold on a minute,

    you've not met the women yet in the wheel-chair, right
    and you became in-laws by proxy, right

      [ sc ]

     right, and ...

     [ ch ]

    does that make your cluedo character
    some kind of disable-ist

      [ sc ]

     what,
     you make me laugh --

     i've not yet met the lass in the head-shot --
     does that make me some kind of dead-ist

     [ ch ]

    don't be like that --

    you know what i mean --
    you must appear like a stranger to this women

        [ ra ]

       no !

       and how do you think he appears
       to the rest of us

       erm ...

       did i just say that out-loud

      [ sc ]

     yep

        [ ra ]

       and i can't un-proclaim it
       can i

      [ sc ]

     no

    [ ch ]

   oh,

   can we play that red-nose song next --
     i could role 500 miles

      [ sc ]

     not today no --
     we've just got space
     for one last track
     before we hand the job over to jo

     and for one last plug
     for the big-sister show
     coming to a small screen near you soon

        [ ra ]

       what about today's question

      [ sc ]

     do you know
     i'd forget my head
     if it wasn't fastened --

     today's question folks
      for four free tickets
      to the live earth gig
      on july the seventh is :

       which actor did today's voice-overs

    [ ch ]

   i thought you said
   it was alex

      [ sc ]

     don't be silly
     they wouldn't let alex speak on the radio --

      was it a) david walliams
             b) ian paisley, or
             c) gerry adams

      text to the usual number please
      starting with the numbers 7, 7 --
      calls should cost no more than a pound
      plus your standard carrier rates
      of which at least 60 pence
      will go to charity

      say ba'bye everyone
      until tomorrow

     [ ra & ch ]

    ba'bye everyone
     until tomorrow




   [[ play track 8 :: gwen stefani ft akon :: *the sweet escape* ]]





[1] 
http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/politicsphilosophyandsociety/story/0,,2067489,00.html

[2] 
http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=viewArticle&code=COO20070426&articleId=5494



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