[ssf] bloom boom bloom

[worldwarfree at riseup.net]

I have been musing in deep contemplation since the vile verbal rape upon
myself from a so called friend.. This bullying has been happening since my
move back to Sheffield from Rawmarsh. Sunday was enough i simply shouted
my deference and probably to no avail, also in consideration my verbal
shouted deference is the same bullying as theres.

I simply walked for over an hour in a state of shock, at my own violence,
the comments offend me so much i could not argue back but simply walk. It
has taken a lot out of me ill have to be honest. You see my love for
Sheffield is grate, this is what stops me from walking and leaving this
fair-awesome bucolic urban paranoia of a city.

Within a bus ride, a walk from where i live there is the bucolic green and
lush landscapes of the Porter Valley, from here you can walk into the Limb
Vally onto Limb Lane into the woods and down to Abby Lane. Then down the
hill you have have the Urban Paranoia of St Vincents, the omnipresent
change of Sheffield is no more apparent than here. It was here i sought
consolation and peace in the dereliction, and buildings that are replacing
the past of Sheffield.

I have some very serious issues regards this regeneration, here we have
the opportunity to face the challenge of not making the same crass
mistakes of yesterday. It seems to myself we are simply demolishing the
past mistakes of yesterday to replace them with more crass mistakes of
today. The current architecture is of nothing of importance.

Le Corbusier,s said “ a house is a machine for livening” if Corbusier
walked around The Sheffield of today he would be pleased, when i walk
round i feel anger, though as a photographer the current regeneration
gives me the chance to practice what has become know as “Urban
Exploration” This brings me to Bansky “art without trespass is like sex
without an orgasm” i have to trespass to gain the images i get you can see
this in my current work bloomboombloom. Unlike Corbusier i believe homes
should have soul such as where my obsession with began Kelvin Flats.

Living there before it become, the slum it was, and before the demolition
it had soul it was a community, the current urban regeneration is a
sterile world, where individuality promotes the selfishness of the human
being. I have no problem with individualisation, as a Marxist Pagan i
loath the selfishness of the human being people have become. This where i
come into strong disagreement with the close friend, this is a presumption
on my part, i have the feeling they do not understand what my photography
means to me.

Photography for me is more than the image, i agree with Bansky it has
become “art without trespass is like sex without an orgasm” a
documentation of our times, i have played as child on West Don Street in
derelict homes, i realized then they had soul. I have played on the waste
ground that has now become the very wonderful Ponderrosa, took a boat out
onto the lake of Crooks Vally Park. I remember in my mid 20,s walking up
Harcourt Road in late summer, many of the windows was open it was 730 at
night, all you could here was children playing, as the sound of Coronation
Street leaked from the bedsit flats that was Harcourt Road.

Sheffield is losing it,s soul, we are becoming Civilization Street where
the people never meet, where individuality is daring not to where the same
uniform as the moron. You sit on a bus and all you here is noise pollution
from mobile phones, Ive had this desire for a long while to get a ghetto
blaster, play some fucking white noise, such as nematic drill digging up a
road at full blast. These are just dreams, as much as my spoken thoughts
are just dreams. I have no real desire to anilte, the moronic person sat
next to me talking about there debt, how mummy has offered to pay and how
they are happy because it means they can get a mortgage.

That there new home must have parking space because they dislike riding on
the bus, i also have strong disagreements with public transport and this
person was one. Like i have strong disagreements with this urban
regeneration, all about me people are becoming moronic clones of
individuality, just the same as the homes that are being built, they have
no style, Corbusier would be very happy here in Sheffield, the only saving
grace is the fair-awesome Bucolic Urban Paranoia of a City.

By failing to take the current challenge of Urban Rengenration we are also
failing the people that reside here. Not only understanding that pubic
transport should be just that we are failing the people, have those who
run the fucking buses stop to think that we do not desire to Liston to
morinc youth playing crass (not crass the band though i did here M Jackson
being played once that was cool) tunes on there mobile phones. Have they
not stooped to think people might desire to catch a bus other than to go
shopping, removing the 107 from Rotherham to Rawmarsh is simply saying the
working class of this community are worth nothing, now ask yourself if you
are treated as nothing you become nothing. You start to feel no value to
yourself and those around you.

When you build soulless homes, they people who live in them become
soulless, nothing more than a machine, that goes to work to pay the over
priced mortgage, for a home that will become a slum, because no thought
has been given to the architecture of them, no thought has been given to
there future over the the profit that can be gained from them.

For the set of images that are bloomboombloom i passed the ruins of a
former slum, that had been hidden under the earth, there was the steps
into the basement on the top of them stood a bucket that also had been
hidden, my photography is about the here and now but also about the past.
Sheffield has undergone so many big changes without any real documentation
of them. I love the feeling, the feeling of abandonment, as though time
has stooped still, there is a smell in derelict buildings, a very real
feeling of soul in them, if you Liston you can here the conversations that
once was taken place there.

Over the last couple of weeks i have been on the bus as the football has
come to an end for that Saturday, a mass of humanity sways the area, then
it returns to it,s stillness This is the same feeling i get when in a
derelict building and i love it. It is though civilization has come to an
end, but i know it has not but at least for that moment i can stop and
dream, and hope that what replaces the empty factory's of yesterday have
the same soul, i can but dream.

Just the same as i dream of the day i find myself not in conflict, not
feeling though as one is being bullied, neither being a bully myself in my
defensive of my own arrogance that conversation becomes that in stead of
the continued paranoia and at times soulless life, where i have just
become a machine full of self loathing not only towards myself but those
around me..