[ssf] b) & c) it's a jumble out there Re: uv :: v ) on kings and secret rings a) sovereignty
amadan mor
adam at diamat.org.uk
Fri Jun 1 10:01:49 BST 2007
b) time
-------
"there were two brothers
who were kings
named nyniaw and pebiaw
one moonlight night
nyniaw said to his brother ...
'... see what an extensive field i posses'
'where is it' -- asked pebiaw
'there ... ' -- replied nyniaw
'... the whole firmament'
'well ...' -- said pebiaw
'... as to that
see how many sheep and cattle
i have grazing in your field'
'where are they' -- asked nyniaw
'there ...' -- replied nyniaw
'... the great host of stars
each with golden brightness
with the moon to shepherd them'
'well ...' -- replied nyniaw
'... they shall not graze
in my field ... '
... and the two kings fought
embroiling both kingdoms
and their subjects
in terrible wars
so that they were
nearly exterminated ...
... rhitta gawr
king of wales
attacked them both
because they were obviously
both mad
he conquered them
and shaved off their beards ...
... but when
the other 28 kings
of prydain
heard of this treacherous assault
they raised up armies
and stood before rhitta
to avenge nyniaw and pebiaw
rhitta
conquered every
one of them
and shaved off their beards
making himself
a gigantic cloak
into which the beards
were decoratively worked"
-- contention of the sons of don
01/05/2007 11:53 PM dougald hine wrote:
> Is there a good reason why you're sending this stuff to the SSF list?
i'm not sure:
i'm copying another list
if only because there's folk there
that i'd like to know my story --
a few years ago
i met some people through writing
who appeared interested in
my take on life,
as i am interested in theirs --
we wrote, and sometimes talked
i've met a few of these people
many i have not met yet
a few if not all of these i suspect
hold me still with reservations
to some i guess my writing
came as a rude awakening:
there's a joke around here,
it goes like this:
'do you wanna see my impression
of yorkshire foreplay' --
if the answer is yes
you shake them by the shoulder
and say:
'are you awake luv'
i can be a fool at times
it's no wonder
people treat me with reservation
there are other reasons though
other than my apparent rudeness
and i guess it is this:
although i try to make it clear
when i talk or write
that i represent myself
it is apparent that i am
at the same time
in some way representative of
something other than myself
but then aren't we all representative
of something other than ourselves
we act from memories --
many good ones that anchor
ours hopes for well being
many bad ones of failure, repulsion
and then the process
of redemption
my myth begins here --
i have a tendency
when i'm playing cluedo
to begin the game
with self-accusation
my story is not unique --
or at least i don't have any evidence
to the contrary
and it is my contention,
that any one
who has been close
to death and the denying
and has taken
some sort of responsibility
should begin the cluedo here
this is one open ring
produced long agon from
rhiannon's big bag of cure
i happened to be carrying
i have another:
a somewhat stranger ring to many
but one shared
by many parents:
a believe that our children
should at least have better
environmental conditions to grow
than we have had ourselves:
this one i like to label ''progress''
and submit that this category of change
should be focused on quality of life
and not quantity of consumed commodities
and commodified services
i have another:
yet a stranger ring to many:
my relationship to sovereignty:
or rather,
our marriage and yet unmarriage
as it is:
my black-white chequered history --
the myth of my geasa --
the story of my many drives
one of which turns like this:
once upon time i met a child
as a consequence of courting her sister
who then was little more than a child herself:
i said the strangest thing to this child
as indeed i said later to her sister:
i told her that when she grew up
i would marry her
i am foolish, i act my feelings
and think that counts as honesty --
but they do (k)not:
presenting mitigating evidence
in defence of my essential grooming
i offer this
at the time in question:
knowing i no intention of
marrying anyone i, until
my studies complete
and qualifications in
law civil engineering
institution
scored a good job
in arbitration, conciliation
or resident engineering position
big water project somewhere
enable us have chance dream --
my pipe dream --
not yet 30,
just few more years,
methinks -
then it's you not you
my girl
that's coming with we
but going weir:
to live for king
in castle:
it's a nice dream
you'll like it:
you can share wealth
in my domain
me smart:
me married before
although become unmarried
hold the economics
whatever reality fallout
in unfolding apparent separation
as contributory negligence,
lack of folding cash co-defendant
i no want this none character
round disa time round
to faf with chances happiness:
i attempting win a clean start
but presenting self-accusation
to counter any mitigation
i offer this
at the time in question:
i not clean living
c) the quite man who mistook his wife for a hat
-----------------------------------------------
i first met fletch
within the first week
of moving back up north
before then
i'd been working for a council
in one of hertfordshire new-towns
but spending most of my time
based at new river head
on secondment to thames
fletch was in one of the lower don's tributary cabins:
he introduced himself as the man-in-charge
and bundled 7 to 11 of us,
the new recruits,
in to the back of a red works minibus
labelled ''site''
we spent the day with him
going around shalesmore
neepsend and down the many shafts
and tunnels:
it was relatively clean work
although i didn't think so at the time:
me being used to desk and indoor jobs
in previous positions ...
... the third squashed time,
i properly met fletch again
was a good few years later:
he was sat cross-legged on top
of a filing cabinet
in the main upper don cabins
which were then located
adjacent to hillsborough barracks:
he had his own office there
with, what i thought was nice furniture,
however, he had his own ideas of comfort
he was mumbling something to himself,
about the person next door
jerking his head
and scratching away at his temples:
a pulp of bleeding eczema
the mate who'd got me there
gave me a cup of tea
at the office door
and said --
'he makes me fucking itchy
just watching him:
somethings got to be done'
'yeah ...' -- my reply
'what about the other-one'
'he's fucking loony-tunes altogether
come on let's go and see the others'
five yards later down the corridor,
the other-one came out
and shoots me a query --
'what are you doing here'
''ave called in for cuppa tea' -- my reply
the other continued to stare at me
and asked --
'are you here on trade union business'
'no' -- my reply
the stare continues --
'is there a health and safety issue
that i'm not aware of then,
or some kind of training:
is that why you're here'
'am i not welcome' -- says i
'yes, yes, of course
but it's a little unusual that's all'
'i don't get out much ...
but it's nice when i can'
the other continues the stare,
then turned abruptly and closes the door
'see what i mean' -- says my mate,
and we walk another five yards,
the other out again --
'is there a design problem,
because if there is,
i should be the first to know'
'have not done any design work
on this job, since the tender stage ...' -- my reply
'... am seconded to highways now,
you know that don't you'
'yes, but i just thought ...
oh it doesn't matter'
-- the other-one door shuts, and
is in again ...
... me and my mate walk on
to the other inspectors ...
5, 6 of us
sat in the drying room
the lads at the end of their shift
me stum and waiting the change
small talk, small economies
hearing claim here,
vibrating white finger here
appendix e in an appendix g
here, and the impending doom
of privatisation all around
neil, took off his boots
and stands up --
'what tha here for'
'fletch' -- my reply
''e's off 'is fucking 'ead in' 'e'
-- said neil not looking at me
''e was on top o' some filing cabinets
when a last saw 'im' -- says i
'fuck me' -- said neil
'wa' about the other-one' -- says micheal
'similar spec.' -- says i
'fuck me' -- intones micheal
quiet, for about 5 mins.
the lads, eating mars bars,
fried onion rings
or whatever crunch ...
... then,
my mate who brought me the tea,
started --
'it's the other-one ...
... he's not been right
since his fiancee dumped him'
neil and micheal both nod,
my mate looks at me and says --
'did you know
when i got married
the second time around ...
... he tried to sell me his engagement ring'
'yes' -- i reply
'how d' ya know' -- replies my mate,
his head moving back
six inches
'he told me so' -- says i
'when' -- asks my mate
'ages ago' -- says i
neil and micheal raise their head
'where' -- asks my mate
'in a pub' -- says i
'it's a pity
you don't go fucking drinking
with fletch too
isn't it so' -- says my mate banging out the door
i wait, the lads get changed
michaelene arrives --
last one in,
last one out of the tunnel
'how's the craiq michaelene' -- says i
'tis the backgrouting' -- replies michaelene
'the ring is weak'
'never' -- says i
neil and micheal nod ...
... the last time i met fletch
was many years later:
i was doing nights
on the sheaf,
fletch rang me up
from home, and asked me how
the job was going
'straight and dry' -- i quipped
he chortled, then told me
he'd just been speaking to
glenda jackson, in a phone-in
on sky tv, and wondered if
that night, i'd be later free
to go for a pint
'my shift finishes at 7 a.m.
and then am sleeping fletch' -- says i
after a few ah-go-ons
i agree to go out with him
the following week
he didn't need telling twice:
7 p.m. that friday night
he turns up to the cabins
opposite the midland station
in black shoes, white socks
and a red convertible
micheal, the sheaf valley inspector
taps me on the shoulder,
and says --
'your wife's here ...
and it looks like
you're on a promise ...'
'... where do you fancy going'
-- says fletch,
as i slip in
to the passenger seat
'where ever' -- says i
'what about fox house for a few:
the weathers nice
and then we'll dump the car'
we drive up ecclesall,
through hunters bar
passed the banner
top down
up the hills
have a few, exchange pleasantries,
and then to his home
where i meet is ma
she's in a wheel-chair
watching tv, fletch
introducing me, says --
'this is who i've been
telling you about'
we're soon out again,
to another pub, this time
off the outer-ring road:
another couple of pints
we chat, and a stripper turns up
dressed undressing w.p.c.
somebodies present, 21st apparently
'what do you think'
-- fletch queries,
elbowing my ribs
'about what' -- my reply
'her ...
... do you think she's nice'
'i dunno:
i've not spoken to her'
'wait there ... yeah' -- says fletch
standing up, behind the birthday party
scratching temples,
feet jittery, staring at her,
staring at me
watching the performance
applauding loudly
she finishes up,
packs her black and white kit
in a head bag, and then dons
a red silk dressing gown
and flip-flops, red nail
accessories
fletch still clapping
motions her over:
she shakes her head declining
fletch still brimming,
shakes his head too:
he moves closer
smiling sweetly whispers,
nods to me
'just wait, yeah
just wait ...'
-- he says, then --
'... yes,
yes, ok'
-- now entreating,
then he jittery flies
out the bar door
she comes sit next to me
'hello' -- says she
'hello ...' -- says i --
'... where's fletch gone'
'to get some money' -- winks she
the landlord intervenes --
'you can't stay her luv
dressed like that ...'
-- and then to me --
'... do you know her'
'yes ...' -- her reply
'...we used to go to school together,.
we'll be gone in a min.'
the landlord retreats
the women says to me --
'how well do you know fletch'
'on and off,
i didn't go to school with him
if that's what you mean'
'no ...
but do you go out with him ...
like regular' -- she continues
'na ...
this is first time in years'
'great ...
did he tell ya,
i was going to be here'
'na ...
what's up' -- my reply
'nothing:
but i've told him before
i'm not going anywhere
alone with him again'
'anywhere, where'
'well, where ever ...
we'll have a good time'
'i dunt know what
fletch has said,
but i'm not on for owt luv'
'well that's alright
you can just watch yeah ...
look he's back yeah,
just watch me yeah' -- she finishes
we get outside and i start --
'listen ...
i don't know what you've got planned
but like ...
count me out'
'no,
come on,
you'll like this ...
... you don't have do anything'
-- says fletch
'well in that in case,
i won't ...' -- says i --
'... you two go off and enjoy yersen
i'll stay here, am not bothered'
'time wasting weirdo'
-- says the women
kicking fletch's shins
fletch turning
with his palms skywards
faces me, and says --
'what's up with her'
'beats me' -- says i
what's up with fucking you'
the women throws her kit bag
into a diesel cavalier van
and wheel-spins out
the patron's par cark
'don't be like that ...' -- says fletch
'... it's not my fault,
it's fucking kylie's ...
she's poisoned her brain'
'who the fuck's kylie' -- says i
'you know ...
kylie from caesars ...
she used to go to school with her'
'which fucking kylie' -- barks i
'you know ...
the one that looks like fucking kylie'
'which fucking caesars
upper or lower don' -- me barking on
'lower don' -- fletch replies
'what colour hair'
'blonde, like fucking kylie's'
'no,
i meant her fucking mound twat:
what colour,
or was she shaved'
'no, don't be like that,
i don't know:
brown, black ...
dark anyway'
'does she have scars on her thighs' -- says i
'yes,
that's right'
'then she's called tracy'
'yeah ...
that's right ...
i used to go out with her' -- says fletch
'yeah, but didn't we all' -- says i
'don't be like that ...
she's met my ma
and everything'
'so have i' -- says i
'oh ...
please don't be like that ...
wait up ...
where you going'
'in to town,
for a pint' -- me walking now,
fed up of fletch
'wait for me then'
'no ... fuck off
you're not invited' -- barks i,
moving on ...
... maybe i should've stuck
to mi guns,
but i didn't:
five and twenty minutes later
we're in yet another boozer,
where fletch begins unfolding
his contention with the lass in the cavalier --
'so i said:
i'm not paying an extra tenner
for that ...
well, would you have paid'
'i wouldn't have asked her to do that ...
but you did,
and you were on her time,
so i don't know why you didn't pay' -- i reply
'but it was for her benefit,
not just mine,
so why should i have had to pay' -- says fletch
'how was it for her benefit'
'what do you mean,
we weren't married,
so what we did was wrong, right' -- says fletch
'if you thought it was wrong,
then why were you doing it
in the first place'
'oh ...
you know why' -- says fletch
'no i do not' -- says i
'yes you do
you told me it was ok'
'me ...
what y' talking about'
'you said:
all sex is a economic transaction
inside or outside a marriage' -- states fletch
'never' -- i rebut
'you did'
'never' -- i query
'you *did*' -- says fletch
'well,
it does sound like me,
or rather,
it does sound like something
i might have said'
'you *did* say it:
on the lower don valley'
'ok, ok
but what's that got to do
with you insisting that she prays after'
'because we weren't married' -- he says
'you're off your trolley
you are fletch
and make no mistake'
'why:
i was agreeing with you:
all sex is economic
so it's the same
inside or outside marriage'
'no !
why the praying !
what's that got to do with me'
'nothing !
but that's me inti
that's my church:
sex before marriage is a sin,
so if we pray, after,
we're forgiven' -- barks fletch
silence,
then i start:
'listen,
i am not your dad'
'what do you mean:
you're not my dad' -- queries fletch
'just that:
i am not your dad'
'i heard you ...
but what do you mean' -- queries fletch
'well,
you've just put me on par
with your fucking church,
and i'm telling ya:
i am not your fucking dad' -- barks i
fletch starts sobbing,
and the landlord calls over:
'i dunt want any trouble here lads'
'neither do i' -- says i
silence, except for the sobbing
then as i remember
i start singing to fletch --
'popeye the sailor man
he lives in a frying pan ...'
fletch starts giggling and says --
'you remembered ...'
then a bouncer comes in
off the door and says --
'we dunt want a lover's tiffs here lads'
'go fuck yourself' -- says fletch
'right,
you ...' -- starts the bouncer
mauling fletch
'hold on a minute sweetheart ...' -- say i
'... it takes two to tango,
hold your poppose ...
we'll be on us way'
the bouncer barks --
'you've had your scarborough warning
the landlord said he dint want any trouble here '
'trouble here ...' -- barks i smiling
'i can turn on a fucking sixpence
if there's trouble here ...
but we'll be on us way ...
leave him ...
no !
leave him ..,
we're leaving here ...
we'll be on us way ...'
... and we were,
again in the fresh air,
and the soft rain ...
'i'll go as far
as the the inner ring road
with y' fletch,
but am not any further ...
not tonight'
'i thought you said
you were going in to town'
'well we're in town now really aren't we'
'no, we're in the out-skirts ...
let's get a taxi'
'no lets keep walking ...
if we fell over three times
we'd be nearly there ...
come on, let's have some fresh air
listen, let's go to the leadmill
maybe i'll get lucky and loose you in the crowd'
'am not going there ...
it's students or
grab a granny ...'
'what's wrong with students,
what y' after:
what's up with you tonight:
you said glenda jackson was alright'
'she won't be there though,
will she,
and if she was
she wouldn't talk to me,
would she ... '
'she's talked to you before' -- says i
'yes,
but that wasn't real,
that was tv'
'but other people have talked to you really though
haven't they:
can you remember that lovely lass in henry's
ages ago,
that christmas,
we were all there ...
just before we started the upper don
first night we met drinking i think
she interrupted you talking:
you were holding court flamboyantly
with your other-half
lecturing us all
on the ins-and-outs of civil engineering'
'don't remind me of him' -- stops fletch
'you got on with the other-one once, though
don't you remember ...
but i was reminding you of her ...
remember ...
you'd somehow got little mo
in to the middle of us all ...
you were waving your arms
smiling, people were laughing
mo didn't seem to mind either
amused and bemused at the same time
can you remember ...'
'vaguely ...'
'... mo was supping on a seven up ...
and said quite calmly to you:
i am an engineer now
and time will tell
who has the better method'
'yeah ...
yeah ...
what was that all about'
'i don't know
you'd both just been on a management course
and were vying for promotion'
'oh yeah ...'
'then that lass came over and said:
you owe me a bag of chips,
remember'
'oh no,
i knew her didn't i
it was a girl i went to school with'
'yes, she was ...
but you didn't recognise her, at all did you
not at all,
at all ...
... or rather,
you thought you'd met her somewhere else ...'
'don't' -- stops fletch
'but you did, remember ...
i went running after her ...
after you had told her to fuck off ...
you'd gone to blackpool with her ...
on a school trip, remember ...
and you'd had a very nice day ...
and you did owe her a bag of chips
in a very nice way,
long before you'd got the notion
of ending every trip with a pray'
'don't'
'she was crying ...
i said: i'm every so sorry luv ...
i don't know why my mate's just done that ...
his other name is fletch ...
are you sure you have the right guy ...'
'don't'
'no amount of sorries could fix it for her
can you remember what you said to her in mitigation:
- i thought you were a stranger -
and she said:
- does that make it any better:
go away, it is you
that has become a stranger -'
fletch still sobbing
fumbles for a fag
'i thought you'd stopped
and were on the mineral water'
-- says i
making to pass him one
pulling it back on condition --
'as long as we dunt 'ave to pray after'
fletch now giggling,
sobbing says --
'what went wrong with us'
'dunno mate,
dunno'
time passes, i smoke too
and say --
'little mo made a good point
you know that night at henry's ...
oh,
don't huff ...
i know you and your other-half
were in your element
at the time
buying drinks all round
running the show
issuing your site instructions
but you remember it all went wrong ...'
'i am the better engineer' -- says fletch
'oh ...
don't be like that ...
that wasn't the argument ...
mo wanted to learn from you
we all did ...
we'd been put together for a purpose
and very soon
we'd all bear similar responsibilities
but mo didn't like your manners
there was little to learn from you there ...
but he didn't blame you
he blamed the drink
and the girl
and what he observed to be
a lack of moral order
that had no option but to
lead to miscommunication
and social breakdown'
'is that what went wrong'
'what !
oh ... you are being easy on yourself tonight
have you forgotten blackpool ...
i think that lass you really used to go to school with
communicated precisely what she felt'
the sobbing begins again in earnest
'it's me init:
it's me that went wrong'
'no,
it is us ...
it is us that went wrong
we've all done it,
insulted, hurt
the friend, the stranger
to a lesser or greater degree ...
you do it loads though
its as though something
once made you very numb ...
i know fletch it did ...
come on, sing us that song
do us that little dance ...'
'you're off your fucking trolley
you are ...
... and make no mistake'
-- says fletch
snorting, throwing the fag
and wiping tears and mucus
with a linen hankie
'i know ...
go on, sing us that little popeye song'
'no,
you're fucking loony-tunes'
'no, i know,
but go on ...'
fletch straightens himself up
and sings, with a voice like a dove,
to the most peculiar little jig
a ever changing homespun version
of popeye the sailor man:
his party piece ...
... he then appears jittery
'are you happy now' -- says he
'na,
go on,
do it again'
'i can't,
not now,
i need,
i need ...'
'no, do it again
sing your song' -- says i
something changed,
but still remained the same
the lyrics sempt to me
to be more surrealy real
his blazer flapping more
this time round though
when he was finishing up
he gets his willy out
with his left hand
before raising his right arm
in apparent triumph, calling across
the road to two apparent strangers:
'hello ladies'
fletch begins to urinate
'oh blinking heck ...
excuse my friend, he's a pig'
-- i hollow across the road
'did you train him' -- says the one
'we thought it was a recording'
-- says the other
'thank you ladies'
-- shouts fletch,
shaking himself dry
against a curved wall
that bends into
some disused railway sidings
'yes, he's a good singer ...
but no, i didn't train him
he came like that
when i got him,
but if you like
he's free to good-home'
'no tar, we've both got pigs
like that at home' -- says the one
'put him a circus' -- says the other
'don't be like that ...' -- starts fletch
'... you must appreciate,
how few toilets there are
around this town,
and you look like you have
smaller bladders than i ...
you must get caught short
sometimes ladies'
'careful ladies ...'
-- says i
'... that's his chat up line'
'well,
everyone got to start somewhere'
-- says the one smiling
on moving on
'goodnight lads'
-- says the other
fletch and i smile
and wave, and watch
and wait their footstep
to silence above the wet road
local traffic, distant sirens
'what did you do that for'
-- queries fletch
'do what for'
-- queries i
'well, we were chatting' -- says he
'well,
you've not washed your hands yet ...
i felt uncomfortable' -- says i
'but they were lovely'
'i know,
but they've got pets of their own'
'but there were two of us
and two of them
we could have had a game
of mixed doubles'
'i've got pets of my own,
just you tonight fletch luv,
playing solo at the mo'
'rub it in,
why don't you' -- says he
'what ...
loads of folk who are fixed up
probably
envy your position ...
just like you envy now
a singles match
it seems to come in cycles
these days
like the economics'
'do you think i'm fortunate'
'you're alive aren't ya
and you've got folding cash'
'that's a point,
let's go to caesars
i'll buy you in' -- says he
'no,
am not going any further
than the inner-ring road
wi' thee tonight'
'no go on
have loads of cash ...
... you've bought me in before'
'have i' -- says i
'yes,
when you've lent me cash ...
and you did say prostitution
was a far better habit
than pornography'
'did i ...' -- says i --
'... well,
it does sound like me,
or rather,
it does sound like something
i might have said'
'you *did* say it:
on the lower don' -- says he
'listen, i'm not your dad ...
no, don't get sad again ...
listen, it is this:
prostitution is the flip side
of pornography ...
an add-mixture of the real and
the imaginary ...
caesars is full of students
and grannies ...
you know what am like
when i start chatting ...
i can't help but get in to conversation
about terms and conditions ...'
'i thought you said you liked them' -- says he
'yes, i do, it is my nature to like people ...
though maybe it's the best place for you tonight
fletch, it's role-on role-off our kinda shit
every hour and the hour for the women there
... they'll have a much better idea,
how to get you to go to wash your hands, than me
and that's for sure ...
... but i'm not going ...
am not going any further
than the inner-ring road
wi' thee tonight'
'a thought tha said tha'd go to t'leadmill'
'have changed mi mind
i have that prerogative
i wish i could make it the same
for them, for kylie, for tracy,
for glenda jackson even'
'weirs that leave me then'
'what do you mean,
we're here aren't we'
'no, my chances'
'what chances ...
what is it with you:
we'll go to ...
no, hold on a minute ...
what is it with you,
with you and the public pissing ...
look, there goes another few'
'oright lads' -- shouts fletch
across the road to a couple
of apparent strangers --
'well i don't know about them,
but for me, i don't like pissing
on my own work'
'how do you mean' -- says i
'well, anytime anybody flushes a toilet
in this city, it sooner or later flows
through a sewer have built'
'don't give me that fletch:
i not sure who started that particular mantra
but it sounds like it began
in a welsh accent ...
yeah ...
that's got you scratching your temples
have heard it a few times
your misses on the upper don
used to sing it in soprano
oh, lower your arms ...
away from head,
lower ...
it's the song:
it's the song init:
that's what makes you urinate'
'yeah ...
yeah ...
i always used to doing it on the bus,
... home ... and
after i'd finished mi song
and then the clapping began'
'yeah ...
yeah ...
popeye the steelie dan ...
how old were you fletch ...'
'oh,
don't start me off again
old enough to do it standing'
'yeah,
but i dunt know if night clubbing
will be any good with ya
you tend to be territorial
with y' dancing:
if it's packed they'll bound to be a barny
in the mood your in tonight ...'
'they'll be loos ...' -- says fletch --
'... but i don't tend to dance much
anymore, anyway ...
i just go watch
anyway, you don't have much room to talk
when you go get going'
'er ...
yeah ...
but i do tend to dance to the music ...
with you though,
there's something other ...
what is it ...
tell me now ...
that lass you went to school with,
the blackpool trip
what was her name'
'no, bugger off
you'll use it against me'
'but you remember her name yeah'
'of course i do
i went to school with her'
'can you remember how you just
were so not bothered at the time
about how you'd upset her'
'yeah well ...' -- queries fletch
'well,
are you bothered now ...
... you're not are you'
'well,
i'd say sorry' -- says fletch
'yes, look how far that got you
last time'
'well,
i wasn't trying to get very far was i'
'what do you mean'
'well look at me'
'i am,
what do you mean'
'well,
you remember her ...
... she'd really aged'
'i wish i could recall her name now fletch ...
i would you it against you
... that's it init
... why you don't want to go night clubbing
you just can't pull
what you think your due
just because your you
and normally pay for it'
'well,
why should i have to lower my standard ...
... and anyway,
you can't deny i do look dapper
and, no, i do ...
i do have a lot to offer,
no i would,
i would say sorry, it's just that, oh ...
i was just mistaken ...'
'you were the way up ...
you were at the top ...' -- states i
'i still am for that matter
i have a lot of management experience'
'i know,
but to where,
but weir are you'
'listen ...
i don't know what it is with you
and this lass from blackpool,
but if your were that bothered ...
you heard what she said to me ...
that was the end of it
irretrievable' -- says he
'what it is with me is this:
i thought you'd have made a nice couple,
you did once dint ya,
in blackpool'
'we did, but no ...
but things change'
'like what ...'
-- says i --
... methods of happiness'
'so your not coming in to caesars with me' -- says fletch
'your joking aren't ya' -- my reply
'yes,
well at least this time ...
let's go to the night club
at the end this road ...
what's that one called again'
'which one,
the black one that's been painted white'
'yes that one,
it's been painted black again...
... you might not get in again,
dressed like that ...
er ... anyway tis still early doors ...'
-- fletch begins to scratch his temple --
'... let's go have another one across the road
... no, hold on,
we've just passed one
opposite that bridge on
little london road'
'you mean the one opposite
the bridge on saxon ...
... there's a few there'
'yeah ... yeah ...'
-- fletch looks me up and down
'if this is another wise crack
about my dress sense,
i best tell about what happened
to a mate back home
before you get started'
'yeah ... yeah ...
but it will have to wait ...
i'm desperate for a pee ...
meet you there yeah ...'
-- fletch begins to run back
across the sheaf
with the nippiness of
a five a side player and shouts ---
'if you get to the bar first, yeah ...
get us a pint will ya'
'wash your hands' -- shouts i
as he disappears
into the moonlight ...
... when i get there,
he's already got them in:
i don't know about his hands
but it appeared that he'd
washed his face,
i moved mi head six inch back
as i nodded to the pint
he way passing my way:
'yes, yes ...
i washed them ...' -- grins fletch
'it is not that,
or rather
it is that as well, and
am just wondering, what tha after
cos until na,
tha's been two-one-ing me
with pints tonight' -- says i
'no, don't be like that:
you've got me thinking
that's all ... and i want to ...
buy you a pint
here, have got some crisps as well
salt and vinegar
lets sit ov'r there
man it's quiet in here
let's put some music on
have you got any change ...
no ...
i'm only messing
have got loads'
i sit down in a big quiet alcove
as fletch goes hunt the juke-box
i scoff his mini cheddars
minutes pass,
no music
'dint you find it'
-- i says to him returning
'what' -- says fletch
'the juke-box'
'no,
i was looking for the jacks
man, will you look at that ...
and another one, another few ...'
fletch nods over to a troupe
of new arrivals,
dressed with exotic
accessories
'hello ladies' -- shouts fletch to them
and then to me --
'but, i did go to the threshing-machine:
the juke-box as you call it
but, i couldn't find anything'
'what nothing,
not even one from
the golden oldies' -- says i
'na, nader' -- says fletch
'gentlemen' -- a character introduces themselves
from the troupe whom fletch as
just said hello to
'hiya' -- says i
'we are not ladies, and
most of us are women' -- the person walks away
'what was that all about ...
it's political correctness gone mad ...'
-- starts fletch --
'... hey ...
have you eaten all my cheddars ...
you know she's not the main one ...'
'not the main one what' -- says i
'well just look,
look how they're sitting
the main one, yeah ...
do you know them ...'
'dunno' -- says i
'how do y' mean
you dunno ...
did you not ask their name
or, did they just not tell you'
'na,
it's stranger than that
i almost remembered their name,
then remembered to forget it again
so oinks like you don't use it against them'
'you're joking aren't ya' -- says fletch
'kinda,
i've met a few them,
but i didn't know they were in a band ...
she, as you say,
was nice, though wasn't she
the one who delivered the terms of engagement' -- says i
'you're barking, you are,
you've just turned down,
a game of mix doubles,
and want us now
to turn our industries
to street theatre characters
inspired by dr who
and fun to funky,
man, you're off your trolley'
'you can't see it can ya ...
oh ... here we go,
they've found the juke-box ...
here, have some of these crisps' -- says i
fletch sits awhile
munching on his crunch
his foot tapping
to a song that echoes
the city, through the police
and the taste of almonds and oysters
his foot stops abruptly
and again his hand again
scratches at his temples
'it's all wrong init'
'what is' -- says i
'the music' -- says he
'how do y' mean'
'it's just meaningless now
init ...
i mean, it's just not the same'
'the same as what' -- says i
'the same as before'
'well, it is
and, it isn't
isn't it ...
what was that other song
i once heard you sing
apart from popeye'
'i can't sing any other songs' -- says he
'you can,
i've heard you'
'well that must have been
a very long time ago'
'maybe it was,
oh ...now i know, nelson ...
life in the air age ...
ships in the night ...'
'no !' -- says he
fletch temple scratching again
'do you want me to start you off' -- says i
'no !' -- says fletch
'go on then, sing it'
'no !' -- says fletch
'no, go on, sing it'
'no !' -- says fletch
'like a square peg,
in a round hole' -- starts i
'no !' -- says fletch
'like a bird that has no wings'
'no !'
'no, go on, sing it'
'i can't'
'there's no such thing as can't fletch
go on, sing your song'
'no !
it is not mine
it is not my song'
'whose song is it then,
if it is not yours ...
can it be our song ... '
'your off your trolley
you are
and make no mistake' -- barks fletch
'wouldn't you like it
to be our song ...
... like a sailor without an ocean ...'
'no, yes !
but it can't be though can it !'
'i don't know why not
go on,
sing it' -- barks i
'no, it is my brother's
he covered it
it is his song now
it is not mine:
i am not him'
'do you mean the comedian
from crow road'
fletch giggles, as two folk
approach shaking a collection tin
'cancer research' -- queries one
'not tonight ladies
have given already' -- says i
fletch giggles, sobs and buries his face
in the crisps like a nose bag
'you remembered' -- says i
'yes' -- replies fletch
'yes well
my brother covered it too
and willed it to me
as i will it to you
go on, sing your song ...'
...one and a half hours later,
we're up and off, and
on us way, walking
back into town again
'they knew him,
didn't they' -- starts fletch
'i know,
it wa' great wa'nt it'
'did you see the old photos'
'yes,
he looked like your double'
'i had a double while you weren't watching' -- says fletch
'oh ...
i thought your mood had changed
i had one too, a whisky-sour'
'you're mixing your drinks ...
oh,
is that why your oiked me out of there'
'no,
i have a chill
and wanted some fresh air
and anyway, we can go back there,
it's nice init,
and it does make a change'
'i will go back there ...
it's her init
did i embarrass you' -- queries fletch
'no, how d'y' mean'
'so it is her,
she'll eat you alive that one
did you hear what she shouted at you
when she left'
'no'
'well then perhaps
it was meant for me'
'perhaps' -- says i
'and as for her dress sense ...' -- says fletch
i stop to stare at fletch,
fletch stops too
'it is her init' -- says he
'let us put it this way ...
it appears that tonight
you have a dress code issue' -- says i
'well it was funny,
wasn't it ...
although she'll be more likely
to get in a club, than you ...
and as for that war paint
it looks like the goths are back-in'
'you've lost me now'
'her make-up, you know, godiva
with the face-paint'
'oh ...
i didn't notice ...
i was looking elsewhere'
'so it is her, isn't it'
'what is up with you tonight ...
didn't you just have a good time'
'yes,
i'm having a good time now, too ...
are we following her then'
'why,
so you can insult her dress sense'
'oh don't be like that,
i was only saying ...'
'yes,
well i am only saying too'
'i don't think they'll let you in,
anyway ...'
'good,
then that's where i'll leave you'
fletch now begins to giggle and says --
'oh,
don't be like that ...
it would be nice to have a dance'
'oh ...
you're up for dancing, are ya' -- says i
'yeah ...
you know,
it was funny back there,
they knew him better, than i ever could
he's sung there too
they knew him as an adult,
and i only ever knew him
as a child
they had fofoes i'd never seen
and just things about him
i had never dreamed ...
it was like,
it was like ...'
'a wake' -- says i
fletch begins to sob
'that's why i oiked you out of there ...' -- barks i smiling
'... you're on my time now'
fletch giggles --
'now i recognise a welsh mantra ...
... who shall we be then'
'what do you mean
who shall we be ...
we're not going
to a fancy dress
are we'
fletch still giggling
looks me up and down again
'don't start' -- says i
'no, no ...' -- fletch giggling --
... i mean
pick a profession,
like a journalist or something
we don't want them to really know
what we do'
'who ...' -- i snap
'... oh, you've done this before
i know what you're up to
can you remember that same christmas do ...'
'oh, blinking heck,
will you leave that lass from blackpool alone ...
... it's like listening to all-our-yesterdays,
having a conversation with you' -- says he
i start giggling this time --
'no, not that lass,
that lass later,
the lass with the red hair ...'
'where ...' -- says fletch
'... i don't remember'
'no, you wouldn't ...
i don't know what the place
was called ...
it was either an upstairs
or a downstairs bar
on the road with chubbies ...
... you were architects that night ...
... both you and your other-half'
fletch continues to giggle --
'oh i remember,
we did alright that night ...
and it was you that blew the cover'
'how !
how did we do alright there' -- barks i
'oh don't be like that ...
you remember ...
after she'd stop crying,
she was all over you
and i got you some drinks in
and the other lasses thought
it was a good joke'
'i don't know about the other lasses
i only spoke with the lass with the red hair'
'yeah, i know ...
she was all over you'
'do you want to know why'
'i suspect she fancied you' -- says fletch
'she was in tears most of the time
most of the time she was just sobbing'
'well that wasn't my fault, was it
she was a fragile shell wasn't she ...
... when i was snogging her blonde mate
she told me, she had to retake
some exams or something'
'yes, and that ...
but that was their cover ...
her dad had just died'
'oh' -- says fletch
'oh indeed'
'that wasn't my fault though was it ...'
'no'
'... and you know how i am
about those things
had have been straight over there
crying with her'
'i know,
but you were busy snogging her blonde mate ...
she was called jane, can you remember tarzan'
'oh, oh yeah ...
that's right ...
me tarzan that night' -- fletch jittery again
'yes ...
i think you improvised some fancy dress ...
from the balloons and decorations ...'
'oh ... don't tut
you'd got the main one'
'the main one what' -- says i
'oh ... that's right
you didn't want it that night did ya'
'didn't want what'
'you know ...'
'do you know what fletch ...
it was little mo, that night
that saved your bacon,
as far as jane was concerned ...'
'never'
'... even after you'd accused him
of being thatcher's child in henry's'
'never,
i didn't, did i' -- rebuts flecth
'yes, he was telling you
why he felt running a newsagents
would come in handy
with the work at hand ...
and you said:
thatcher was brought up
in a corner shop
and look how far that got us'
'yeah ...
and then everyone cheered'
'do you need a pee ...
or, can you hold on ...' -- says i
'no, am alright,
no go on, go on,
how did we end talking about news agencies'
'oh,
little mo was wondering
about the suitability of oinks like us
in civil engineering ...
he was quite sweet about it,
at the time,
saying he could understand us being
policemen, or priests, or doctors
but surely in civil engineering
we were more suited to be navies'
'yeah,
and then i told him the one
about a different racial stereotype
having a tendency to be either doctors
or newsagents ...
oh yes, yes, i remember now ...
that was funny though ...'
-- fletch jittering --
'... can you hold on' -- says i
'yes, for a bit anyway
anyway how did mo safe my bacon
with jane'
'it was when i put an end to your charade
and told them what we really do for living
jane turned her nose up ...
remember ...
little mo interjected
on your behalf, as well as his own
and explaining calmly told her
how the circular arcs we'd tunnelled
on the lower don, are large enough to pass
a double-decker bus through'
'yeah, that's right ...
that put it in perspective ...
then you put your oar in again ...
and said, of course the only
double-decker that's been through the lower don a lately
has come as the bi-product of a biscuit bar ...
... your were after her,
weren't ya
that red head,
can you remember her name'
'i've remembered to forget it ...
but i'm glad you remind me ...
no, i wasn't after her ...
but yes, i certainly wasn't going to let
an oink like you in with a chance'
'well then,
you got your comeuppance,
didn't you'
'yes:
do you want to know what,
she whispered in to my ear
her silent roaring ...
it concerned her dad ...
no one had told her see ...
they thought she was a child see
and had kept his illness undercover ...
they had lied to her
they thought it had best come as a surprise
she never got to say goodbye'
'oh' -- says fletch
'oh indeed ...
mo made a good point later apparently
has he sat chatting
to our iranian colleagues ...
he was questioning them
about my marital status
and how many children we had ...
as ellen sat sobbing
i will show them
i will show him
i am *not* a child
into my lap
as i sat shushing her
mo blamed the drink
and the girl again obviously ...
but wondered if
any relationship could last these days'
'well, they can't can they'
'oh i don't know ...
but the younger one
of the iranians had that month
just been nationalised,
and took mock umbrage
at mo's constant snipes ...
he said: time, the duration of a relationship,
a shared experience,
is one quantification of a relationship,
quality is another'
'he didn't did he'
'yeah he did ...
but he didn't leave there, though ...'
'didn't he'
'no, he didn't
he then told mo,
as he was having constant cracks
about our women and drink
that he felt it only right to mention
that he had a problem
with the cast system'
'no, he didn't did he ...
hold on there ...
am going to have to have a pee ...'
-- fletch skips neatly
down a side road
and urinates in a to gutter --
'hello ladies ...' -- says he to no one in particular
'... this one might get
a mile or two, before dropping
in to the don ...
you never know, it might make it
to rotherham ...
... has montfort finished
installing the weirs ...'
'yeah ...
he's monitoring their energy consumption
with young dave'
'oh, good ...
then it might stay up
in the victorians ...
i met dave in ponds forge diving
last week,
did he tell you ...'
'no'
'oh ...
you know her who we're following ...
the ring leader of that troupe'
'no'
'you do,
you know who i'm talking about ...
you do'
-- says fletch shaking himself dry
'yes, i think i know
who you are talking about
but no, i don't know her'
'i'd steer clear'
'would you'
'no, i mean if i was you
i'd steer clear'
'oh' -- i stop
'what y' doing ...
come on ...'
'no' -- i stay stopped
'what's up with ya
have i worried ya'
'yes'
'well, it's just her dress sense ...
it worries me too'
'no,
it is not that'
'well what is it then'
'it is you'
'it is me what'
'it is you that worries me'
'oh ... ' -- fletch stops
'well, am not after her'
'no, quite,
you just want me in there long enough
to tie up her interest, or otherwise
move in on one of her mates ...'
'oh ... don't be like that,
i've changed'
'have you, when'
'no i have,
listen, i'm on for dance
and i know you like to too,
i was just trying to give you
some friendly advice,
they look to me like they could be
a group of midsummer fire jumpers
that's all ...
... oy, where ya going ...
... hold on,
you're going the wrong way'
me walking now
really fed up with fletch
'i told you earlier
to forget about playing
mixed doubles with me
you're flying solo tonight fletch'
'no, hold on,
i've changed'
'when'
'no, you've got me wrong'
'have i'
'yes,
i wouldn't try for any of that troupe,
i think they are weired ...
i'm worried that's all'
'are you'
'yes'
'what about'
'about them'
'them who'
'just them'
'do you know them'
'know who'
'them'
'i know loads of people'
'i know,
and loads of people know you ...
ah ...
it's not them that's worrying you
it's the other them'
'well how can they not ...
have had a lot of run-ins
with a few people ...
you know yourself ...
you can't build anything
thesedays
without having run-ins
i'm known in this city'
'ah ...
who do you think we might meet'
'i don't know'
'is it as bad as that'
'yes'
'well,
why don't you tell them
you've changed'
-- i walking on
'oy ... where you going,
oy ... slow down'
'no, it is always the other with you
never the self !'
'no, slow down ...
don't be like that ...
i can always go to fucking caesars !'
'i am not my brothers keeper !'
'oh ... have upset you now,
i can tell,
slow down ...
yes, i'm partly to blame, ok !'
'yes' -- me now stopping slowly and reaching for a fag
'you must have had run-ins too ...
you're known here,
as much as me'
'yes ...' -- says i
'... so i don't need roping-in
with any of yours'
fletch back giggling,
i continue --
'... and it was different for me,
i come at it from a different path
but something went wrong,
between the lower and upper don'
fletch begins to scratch,
i continue --
'i'd just began,
can you remember ...
i was the new lad in the office ...
no one could quite understand
why i was being employed as an engineer
when i wasn't an engineer
and my last job title had been
temporary technical drawing office assistant'
'yes ...' -- fletch still giggling --
'... well,
they thought you knew something
didn't they'
'well i did' -- says i
'yes ...
but not what they thought'
'well, yeah ...
but i did knew that too:
i told them:
if you want to know
it's no trade secret ...
but it turned out,
they just weren't bothered ...
so they just used me to make the tea
and put math-co-processors in to the computers ...
... i used to take david then
a cuppa in, every morning at ten'
fletch begins to scratch again,
i continue --
'yeah ...
do you miss him'
'at least he was an ear,
not like the banana bunch
we have now'
me walking again
'oy ...
where you going now'
i stop --
'it's not eighteen months ago
that you had me up on
a fucking disciplinary
before one of the new bananas
as you call john ...
... and he said the same thing to you
that i have heard david say to you,
daily ...
... put it in writing
put it in writing,
hours at a time,
he sat there dropping opium in to his eye
on the blower, agony aunt,
to you and your other-half
began the upper don
... put it writing ...
someone had got to you both ...
... or something, or both
it was the backgrouting ...
that's got you scratching ...
but it wasn't david, was it ...
not his gentle baritone voice,
i guess that used to comfort you
i guess it was his country man,
that got to you
i can just hear the conversation now,
or rather the lilt of it:
listen cunt ...
i care little of what
he promoter of this scheme thinks,
because they are now accountants
i care little of what
the contractors' representatives thinks
because they are contractors' representatives ...
and they think like contractors' representatives ...
... but me no buts ...
i have read their consultants' reports,
let them read ours ...
'but i am the engineer' -- says you
i care little of your job title
but you will become a fucking engineer
on this job
or you will be fucked off,
was it something like that ...'
'yeah ...
and then some ...'
'i know ...
he did that to a lot of people ...
but he did have point though ...
can you remember it,
the backgrouting ...'
'yeah ...
fuck the money-heads
they're building-in fucking problems
in hope to cash in
on future returns,
revenue streams
we build to last
death and injury comes with this location
and i have no intention, to drag people back here
from our lack of attention'
'yeah ...
it wasn't easy though was it,
to put in to writing ...'
'no ...' -- scratches fletch
'lower your hands ...
he used to say:
i can't understand this at all,
it's not even as though theses engineers
are taking fucking bribes, or at least
i strongly doubt it, but then at least
i could understand their inaction'
something happened on the don,
that made us confuse our position,
and title,
with a job position,
and title else where ...
can you remember ...
privatisation ...
well, the promoter says their recruiting engineers
and they have good benefits ...
and the contractors say their recruiting engineers
and that's well paid if you can hack it
... and the council obviously don't want me,
... or at least not all of us
and then it became the death
of a thousand cuts ...
it still is for that matter:
i'm fucking off soon
did i tell ya'
'you not are you,
you're only just back
arn't ya
off sick leave,
i thought you liked it
on the sheaf,
back on completion'
'yeah well
you know what thought did,
and in any case,
i'm sick of it again'
'no ...
what you going to do then
take a job with one of the authorities'
'na,
they're not authorities anymore, are they
they lost their authority when they became p.l.cs,
and we ended playing monopoly
am gonna go back faffing with computers for a bit
have you ever heard of the internet'
'well that's smashing,
init ...
come on,
i'll buy you an early leaving drink,
we'll just mention the internet ...
that's bound to impress them'
i begin to giggle this time --
'i thought you said you changed'
'well, i have
haven't i' -- says fletch
'how'
'well,
i'm not scared of them anymore'
'no,
well i guess not'
'and,
anyway you can vouch for me'
'about what'
'well,
that i've changed'
'no,
i can't vouch for you
you need to vouch for yourself'
'just listen right,
i'm not after riding-in
on your wake'
'you've lost me now ...
oh ...
i get you ... ' -- me giggling --
' ... so you have changed a little bit ...'
'yeah, well no
but listen right ...
you know as well as i do
if we go night clubbing
that questions will be ask about us two'
'what about us two'
'about us two turning up together'
'by whom'
'well, anyone'
'well, answer them'
'i can't though,
can i'
'why not'
'because we've not worked out
the answer yet'
'well, we don't know
the questions yet, but let's try
sticking to the truth'
'so ...
you'll tell them i've changed, will you
that i've turned over a new leaf'
'i'm not your keeper, priest or dr'
'precisely, but we could be cousins'
'could we'
'yes, it would benefit you
as well as me'
'would it'
'yes, questions are bound to be asked ...
listen,
can you remember that time
we got mistaken for brothers ...
you didn't like that did you'
'no' -- i reply
' ... and we do look alike ...
... and didn't you once tell me
that there's a fifty percent possibility
of us having joint ancestry
if we go back five generations ...
... remember'
'yeah ... i remember,
go back eleven, and the same
can be said for toute le monde
but i'm remembering now
how selective your memories are ...'
'what,
oh don't be like that ...
i know you hate violence,
but you heard what that bouncer said,
he was just asking for it ...
and, he caught me
at the wrong time, ok ...
ok ...'
'ok, ok
but let me put it this way:
maybe i was wrong to intervene,
to get in the way, between you and
the bouncer, maybe it was a comeuppance
for the violence you inflicted on
the stripper'
'oh,
don't be like that,
you saw her,
she couldn't have been that worried ...
she was willing to perform
in front of a stranger
and it was me that got my shins kicked'
'she was at risk
she is at risk
she was risking it ...'
'risking what
a prayer as an extra ...
listen, don't give me that karma baloney:
we make us own luck right
we make us own chances'
'yeah ...
well maybe we make us own
bad luck too, just by our attitude'
'oh ...
well then,
then maybe we are related'
-- fletch back giggling
'well,
maybe we are,
but what you after
what is it with this cousin-business'
'listen,
it's about your sexuality'
'how'
'the benefit'
'how'
'you know ...
questions are bound to be asked ...
and whatever my sexuality is,
my preferences are obvious ...
but with you,
everything is in doubt'
'is it'
'yes, remember
i've seen you dancing
in caesars'
'and ...'
'and, some people were confused'
'not all of them'
'but enough of them'
'so'
'so ...
we can't be brothers can we'
'why not'
'because they'd never believe us
because we are so different'
'so different how'
'you know ...
different in that way'
'so,
no, whatever ...
what's my benefit ...'
'well,
they'd like that,
wouldn't they,
our difference:
that troupe we're following:
you heard the terms'
'and why should that
make us cousins'
'well,
we can't just be mates can we
cos then, that would make us
mates, mate, same sexuality'
'no' -- stops i
'no, it would,
or at least it could'
'no, i mean i'm not
your cover'
'oh come on,
it's not like that'
'listen,
i did a twelve hour shift in the damp
on days today, before we got started
on nights,
can't we just go with the flow'
'how do you mean'
'well,
you always have to have
an agenda, dunt ya'
'i'm just being prepared'
'yeah, ever the boy scout,
prepared for what'
'don't start that again ...
you always have an agenda too'
'do i'
'yes,
so don't give me that ...
you're just as likely
to ride in on my wake
and clear the pieces'
'am only dancing tonight sweetheart' -- states i
'yeah, ok ...
so don't give me that ...
you've not even figured out
where you're sleeping tonight
have ya'
'it's still early ...
have not even figured out
if i'll be sleeping tonight
but have got plenty of mates
and plenty of cousins'
fletch begins to scratch,
i continue --
'listen,
it is like this:
i know you, and you know me:
i'm not going to come to your defence
again, if you upset anyone,
it somehow encourages ya
to do it again'
'have changed'
'when ...
and am not giving you
a blank cheque on my name'
'what do you mean'
'this cousins-business ...
most folk around here,
don't know my name,
why should they,
it is not important to them ...
but they know my face,
i don't keep that covered ...
and i have no intention
of letting these folk,
first know my name, to facilitate
some kinda fletch type scam
as my name is important
to me'
fletch stops now,
i continue --
'aren't ya coming ...
i want to get in out the damp'
'weirs that leave me then,
what do i tell them'
'you're going to have to be
yourself'
fletch begins to scratch,
i have another go --
'oh,
don't be like that ...
as you said, you do look dapper
and you've got a lot of
management experience to offer'
fletch scratches a giggle,
and starts --
'not them,
the other them'
'oh,
i don't know ...
i don't know what you've done
to them, do i ...
do you'
'some, of course
do you think i'm crackers'
'well,
to those some,
start by saying sorry'
'yes,
and look how far that got me
with catherine'
'who's catherine'
'that lass from henry's
the chips in blackpool'
'oh, so
you do know her name then'
'yeah, of course
she used to go out with
my brother'
'never' -- says i
'yeah,
i thought you'd remembered'
'no ...
ah ...
listen fletch ...
saying sorry shouldn't be the start
of some elaborate fore-play'
'shouldn't it,
i thought you said
we'd make a nice couple' -- fletch back giggling
'ah,
no, so,
that's the way it is with you
is it:
you'll say sorry so long
as you get your own way ...
if you ever got catherine
by hersen, again, i bet in time,
you'd return to form:
you'd probably end up fucking her,
and then make her pray for the privilege'
fletch stops now,
grabs my upper arm,
and stops me --
'don't say that about catherine,
she's not like that'
'oh, i don't know ...
things change, she's aged, and ...
all sex is economic transaction'
'no !
she's not like that !
she's never been like that !'
'i wonder what colour
her mound is' -- queries i
fletch grabs my other arm
barking into my face --
'listen twat,
catherine's not like that,
she used to go out
with my brother !'
'yeah aknow,
she might be hard up though now,
i wonder what she'd do
for the price of a vindaloo' -- queries i
'she is not like that !
you wouldn't have to force her to do anything
and i wouldn't let anybody force her
to do anything, let alone that'
'then why do you force the stranger ...
why did you force the stripper,
stranger ...
and why did you want me
to watch'
fletch releases me
and leans against a wall --
'what went wrong with me'
'dunno mate,
it's as though we all got confused
between saying sorry, and being sorry
between appearing to be in the right,
and being in the right:
doing the right thing ...
but with you,
whilst ever you're being watched, fletch
and you get away with it,
the more justified you feel
...
and the more that watch, the merrier,
you care little about the stranger'
'what do you mean,
doing the right thing' -- says fletch
'i thought you had church ...
didn't they give you any clues there'
fletch back giggling --
'well,
i've never coveted my neighbours ox'
'well, that's a start ...
what about his ass ...
come on i'll race ya,
if i get there first,
you buy me in yeah ...
you on for a dance yeah ...'
fletch still giggling begins to run --
'but what i shall i tell them'
'what ever they wanna know'
fletch beats me to the night-club
by a short-head, the club has a fresh lick
of black paint, and a new name:
the badonfield
there's fresh fly-posting too,
i stop to read
"the images are the forms
of natural bodies which,
as surfaces,
as it were detach themselves
like skins and transfer
these bodies into appearance
these forms of the things
stream constantly forth from them
and penetrate into the senses
and in precisely this-way
allow the objects to appear
thus in hearing nature hears itself,
in smelling it smells itself,
in seeing it sees itself
human sensuousness is therefore
the medium in which natural processes
are reflected as in a focus
and ignited into the light of appearance"
d ) the badonfield
------------------
[ & b iv) conceptulisation of the other :: a prototype parton state ]
... to be continued ...
> On 5/1/07, amadan mor <adam at diamat.org.uk> wrote:
>>
>> "all of us are the children born of the damsels
>> whom amangons and his men raped --
>>
>> these great wrongs
>> shall never be redeemed
>> in wordly time
>>
>> we are bound to travel in common,
>> knights and damsels,
>> through this land
>> until god wills that
>> the court of joy be found,
>> for that will make
>> the land bright again"
>>
>> -- the elucidation ~ 1230
>>
>>
>>
>> in elizabethan times shakespeare wrote
>> upon this archipelago, and beyond
>> of kings, their battles, secret ambitions
>> crimes, courts, resolutions
>>
>> hansard and analogous records
>> records these things presently
>> to me, in a less comprehensible fashion
>>
>> sovereignty's image appears world over
>> on stamps and bank notes, faces, institutions
>> past present heroins princes land-thoughts
>> sovereignty's regalia, co-dominions
>>
>> many images, mapping out the currency
>> of social and economic intercourse
>> respectively banding the strands
>> of the ideas, the imaginary that form us
>>
>> the why of our mappings
>> manifests in complex reality bindings --
>> social niceties of rarefied times
>> compressed into temporal defence
>>
>> who comes lapping against the shores --
>> what end justifies the means king
>> rang 911, madrid, london
>> ripping through core common mantle
>>
>> other mappings -- walled cities, check-points
>> fronts, disease, danger, death
>> exclusion zones, demarked territories
>> chequer game reality --
>>
>> -- full spectrum imaginary war games
>> acted, role-played, multiple scenarios
>> move through dress rehearsal
>> to the theatre of the real
>>
>> sovereignty chooses her own representatives
>> tests and trains her champions
>> bestowing rings of invisibility
>> giving free capacity to her command
>>
>> echoes her command --
>> the means justifies the end
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