[Project-fallujah] The Young Ones IS Re: [sheffield-anti-war-coalition] Your Politics Are Boring As Fuck ?

[2 % Human]

Neil returns to the house, back from the council meeting, with a sad 
face and carrying a paper bag of lentils.

Neil : Sorry guys, I'm not up to cooking tonight. My motion didn't even 
get heard by the council.

[ Vyvyan snatches the bag from Neil and starts to eat the lentils with a 
  dirty desert spoon ]

Rick : Do you know why that is Neil ? It's because your politics, just 
like your lentils are boring !

>> It's no wonder that no one has joined you in your political endeavors. Perhaps
>> you tell yourself that it's tough, thankless work, but somebody's got to do it.
>> The answer is, well, NO.

>> The truth is, your politics are boring to them because they really are
>> irrelevant.

Neil : Like world peace is relevant for everyone ? ... and any way Trish 
from the health food shop came along later although she had to leave 
early ... the council chambers set off her sneezing allergy ... it was 
pretty heavy guys ... mucus everywhere :(

Vyvyan [ still munching the lentils ] : Trish hey ? You should have said 
Neil, I'd have come with you ... Veggies are usually allergic to me.
Hey; what's the sauce on these lentils Neil ? It taste like garlic and 
parsley ?

Neil : I don't know Vyvyan. They were Trish's

[ Vyvyan looks in to the bag of lentils and screws up his face. He then 
smiles and digs in to the lentils with fresh gusto. ]

Rick : Vyvyan; you are sick.

Vyvyan : Not as sick as Trish apparently.

Mike : What did your motion say Neil ?

Neil : It said "We want peace". I thought people would just like get it :(

Mike : Well that's your problem Neil. You've not done any market 
research. You need to commodify your protest in to little packages and 
produce a product line of protests.

Listen, I know a group refugees who have set up in business making 
candles out of recycled chip pan fat ... they trained as accountants and 
have just bought some MBAs. As a side-line they will turn your big 
protest idea in to a range of protest packages ... they charge £ 2 / 
hour up-front mind and its cash-in-hand.

[ Mike produces a business card from his pocket. The card glows in his 
hands as he gently puts it down on the top of the hamster cage ]

Mike : Watch this lads.

[ Mike presses a bottom on the card and stands back. The hologram of 
Princess Leia appears and starts to tell the guys about the threat of 
the Empire ]

Mike : Sorry lads, wrong card.

[ Mike takes another equally glowing card from his pocket and puts this 
one on top of the hamster cage. He presses a button and stands back 
again. The hologram this time is of a smiling business man who engrosses 
his audience with conjures, dancing girls, philosophical statements and 
the like, whilst he explains his product line, and his line of 
commodified services. The hologram finishes and the camera returns to 
show the faces of Neil, Rick and Vyvyan who are all still dazed from the 
experience.]

Neil 	:
Rick	: Wow
Vyvyan	:

Mike [ staring in to the camera ]: Yes it's pretty amazing the ways you 
can market yourselves these days folk.

Mike : If you want to loan the card, we can talk rates. I must be off 
though now. I'm going to swap those photographs of Vyvyan and the 
rector's daughter for a PhD. Let me know if you can get the £ 2 / hour 
up-front Neil and I'll put in touch at my usual commission.

[ Mike leaves ]

Rick : Mike's right Neil. You need to be spice up your politics. Listen 
to this poem I wrote for tonight's anarcho-communist theory discussion 
group meetings:

	Today, I saw a dog,
	Yes, a dog.
	Talking to a pig,
	Yes, a pig.
	They were on the pavement,
	Discussing Trotsky.
	Not brotsky or crotsky or drotsky or frotsky.
	But Trotsky.

Vyvyan: I used to go with a nurse called Brotsky ... or was it Frotsky 
... but that reminds me ... it's time I was offsky.

[ Vyvyan stands up and throws the remaining lentils at Neil ]

Vyvyan: Right you two middle class tossers, I'm out of here ... I need 
my medication.

[ Vyvyan: leaves the house jumping through a window ]

Rick [ shouting towards the window ] : That's right Vyvyan. Neil is 
middle class and that's why he wastes his time talking to fascist. I'm 
out of here too tosser.

[ Rick stands up and prepares to leave ]

Rick : Have you seen my notebook Neil ? The one that I keep my poems in ?

Neil : I think it was stuck to Vyvyan's boot when he left.

Rick : Typical. [ Rick puts his hands on his hips ] Just Typical.

Rick [ bends slightly forward and shouts directly at Neil ] : Fascist !

[ Rick turns and leaves abruptly. ]

Neil [ looking directly at the camera ] : Peace at last :)


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Your Politics Are Boring As Fuck
> by Nadia C.
> 
> Face it, your politics are boring as fuck.
> 
> You know it's true. Otherwise, why does everyone cringe when you say the word?
> Why has attendance at your anarcho-communist theory discussion group meetings
> fallen to an all-time low? Why has the oppressed proletariat not come to its
> senses and joined you in your fight for world liberation?
> 
> Perhaps, after years of struggling to educate them about their victimhood, you
> have come to blame them for their condition. They must want to be ground under
> the heel of capitalist imperialism; otherwise, why do they show no interest in
> your political causes? Why haven't they joined you yet in chaining yourself to
> mahogany furniture, chanting slogans at
> carefully planned and orchestrated protests, and frequenting anarchist
> bookshops? Why haven't they sat down and learned all the terminology necessary
> for a genuine understanding of the complexities of Marxist economic theory?
> 
> The truth is, your politics are boring to them because they really are
> irrelevant. They know that your antiquated styles of protest-your marches, hand
> held signs, and gatherings-are now powerless to effect real change because they
> have become such a predictable part of the status quo. They know that your
> post-Marxist jargon is off-putting because it really is
> a language of mere academic dispute, not a weapon capable of undermining systems
> of control. They know that your infighting, your splinter groups and endless
> quarrels over ephemeral theories can never effect any real change in the world
> they experience from day to day. They know that no matter who is in office,
> what laws are on the books, what
> "ism"s the intellectuals march under, the content of their lives will remain the
> same. They-we-know that our boredom is proof that these "politics" are not the
> key to any real transformation of life. For our lives are boring enough
> already!
> 
> And you know it too. For how many of you is politics a responsibility? Something
> you engage in because you feel you should, when in your heart of hearts there
> are a million things you would rather be doing? Your volunteer work-is it your
> most favorite pastime, or do you do it out of a sense of obligation? Why do you
> think it is so hard to motivate others to volunteer as you do? Could it be that
> it is, above all, a feeling of guilt that drives you to fulfill your "duty" to
> be politically active? Perhaps you spice up your "work" by trying (consciously
> or not) to get in trouble with the authorities, to get arrested: not because it
> will practically serve your cause, but to make things more exciting, to
> recapture a little of the romance of turbulent times now long past. Have you
> ever felt that you were participating in a ritual, a long-established tradition
> of fringe protest, that really serves only to strengthen
> the position of the mainstream? Have you ever secretly longed to escape from the
> stagnation and boredom of your political "responsibilities"?
> 
> It's no wonder that no one has joined you in your political endeavors. Perhaps
> you tell yourself that it's tough, thankless work, but somebody's got to do it.
> The answer is, well, NO.
> 
> You actually do us all a real disservice with your tiresome, tedious politics.
> For in fact, there is nothing more important than politics. NOT the politics of
> American "democracy" and law, of who is elected state legislator to sign the
> same bills and perpetuate the same system. Not the politics of the "I got
> involved with the radical left because I enjoy quibbling over
> trivial details and writing rhetorically about an unreachable utopia" anarchist.
> Not the politics of any leader or ideology that demands that you make sacrifices
> for "the cause." But the politics of our everyday lives. When you separate
> politics from the immediate, everyday experiences of individual men and women,
> it becomes completely irrelevant. Indeed, it becomes the private domain of
> wealthy, comfortable intellectuals, who can trouble themselves with such
> dreary, theoretical things. When you involve yourself in politics out of a
> sense of obligation, and make political action into a dull responsibility rather
> than an exciting game that is worthwhile for its own sake, you scare away people
> whose lives are already far too dull for any more tedium. When you make politics
> into a lifeless thing, a joyless thing, a dreadful responsibility, it becomes
> just another weight upon people, rather than a means to lift weight from
> people. And thus you ruin the idea of politics for the people to whom it should
> be most important. For everyone has a stake in considering their lives, in
> asking themselves what they want out of life and how they can get it. But you
> make politics look to them like a miserable, self-referential, pointless middle
> class/bohemian game, a game with no relevance to the real lives they are living
> out.
> 
> What should be political? Whether we enjoy what we do to get food and shelter.
> Whether we feel like our daily interactions with our friends, neighbors, and
> coworkers are fulfilling.
> 
> Whether we have the opportunity to live each day the way we desire to. And
> "politics" should consist not of merely discussing these questions, but of
> acting directly to improve our
> lives in the immediate present. Acting in a way that is itself entertaining,
> exciting, joyous-because political action that is tedious, tiresome, and
> oppressive can only perpetuate
> tedium, fatigue, and oppression in our lives. No more time should be wasted
> debating over issues that will be irrelevant when we must go to work again the
> next day.
> 
> No more predictable ritual protests that the authorities know all too well how
> to deal with; no more boring ritual protests which will not sound like a
> thrilling way to spend a Saturday afternoon to potential volunteers-clearly,
> those won't get us anywhere. Never again shall we "sacrifice ourselves for the
> cause." For we ourselves, happiness in our own lives and
> the lives of our fellows, must be our cause!
> 
> After we make politics relevant and exciting, the rest will follow. But from a
> dreary, merely theoretical and/or ritualized politics, nothing valuable can
> follow. This is not to say that we should show no interest in the welfare of
> humans, animals, or ecosystems that do not contact us directly in our day to
> day existence.
> 
> But the foundation of our politics must be
> concrete: it must be immediate, it must be obvious to everyone why it is worth
> the effort, it must be fun in itself. How can we do positive things for others
> if we ourselves do not enjoy
> our own lives?
> 
> To make this concrete for a moment: an afternoon of collecting food from
> businesses that would have thrown it away and serving it to hungry people and
> people who are tired of
> working to pay for food-that is good political action, but only if you enjoy it.
> If you do it with your friends, if you meet new friends while you're doing it,
> if you fall in love or trade funny
> stories or just feel proud to have helped a woman by easing her financial needs,
> that's good political action. On the other hand, if you spend the afternoon
> typing an angry letter to an obscure leftist tabloid objecting to a columnist's
> use of the term "anarcho-syndicalist," that's not going to accomplish shit, and
> you know it.
> 
> Perhaps it is time for a new word for "politics," since you have made such a
> swear word out of the old one. For no one should be put off when we talk about
> acting together to improve our lives. And so we present to you our demands,
> which are non-negotiable, and must be met as soon as possible-because we're not
> going to live forever, are we?
> 
> 1. Make politics relevant to our everyday experience of life again. The farther
> away the object of our political concern, the less it will mean to us, the less
> real and pressing it will
> seem to us, and the more wearisome politics will be.
> 
> 2. All political activity must be joyous and exciting in itself. You cannot
> escape from dreariness with more dreariness.
> 
> 3. To accomplish those first two steps, entirely new political approaches and
> methods must be created. The old ones are outdated, outmoded. Perhaps they were
> NEVER any
> good, and that's why our world is the way it is now.
> 
> 4. Enjoy yourselves! There is never any excuse for being bored... or boring!
> 
> Join us in making the "revolution" a game; a game played for the highest stakes
> of all, but a joyous, carefree game nonetheless!