[ssf] pulp fiction ii :: unicorn variations i
adam basid
adam at diamat.org.uk
Fri Mar 30 13:51:25 BST 2007
i. fastwords
------------
matri
linear
black and white
lines snow coal
read plums strung together
pen soup dragon kitchener
brassed off gas metre
time and time again
again synopsis vortigern --
outsourcing security
saxon blackwater
regulatory capture
cleansing still katrina
selfish, mercenary
copper dam robbed previously
home reaction delayed
home guards elsewhere
extra curricula
alexandra per mission
red all about it
usual story
supplies not the may west
get here we'll do the rest
best
keep a black watch
on them lads lads
go get the gherkas
black water capture
praetorian watch manhattan transfer
timarchies time-share tooling-up
nuclear alchemists
selling security plagues
major undershaft barbara economics --
corporate males couples
big coranian bugging curse
many bodies shredded
many bodies dead ---
--- listening you
lludd bran flakes ---
hook up the dead freights
wo wohnen du voritmer
we trade heads so
we trade tales doe
hop ears trade shouts
cor ports rinse out
ii. crosswords
---------------
i left the officer there listening
to the bells of the cathedral --
proceeding orderly mist mission
dunelm prince dragon sausage
maple syrup acting hams
kingsgate footbridge
madness passing
reopening past exams --
wu-grenfield professor there --
bridging perching
turquoise suit tails aflapping
exposing waist coat golden
thob watch throbbing blushing
on the poyws
perching from high chairs
hired off tennis umpires
still lords aleaping
danger still rescue beating
in to sharp eye-teeth
gnashing incisors
incised meanders
back molars bungied black battered
cuts mangles bows black ribbons
professor flaps waving
exposé, new broad sheets --
two sheets big features
b'big crossword puzzles
statistics --
81 x 81
no waist
quadrangle --
professor calling:
'extra, extra,
lead all about it
two sheets
two sheets
to who'
at the professors feet
lies two piles of sheets --
set copies
and there too gathering bridging
rake o'students --
puzzle-feat undertakers --
i distracting
mist the first bit
missed the question
fishing watching
eyes caught
hooks
missing
the professor's drew me back in ...
'... so you understand our experiment
good good
well well
lets get this snow on the road ...
on this side we have the puzzles
that have been already solved
by others
while
on this side we have
a brand old spanking
new version of the crossword
designed by the same authors ...
no, that's not right ...
hold your horses ...
which way round did i have them'
-- the professor's head lowering
examining each top sheet trifocal
but above prinz-neeze looking
shiftily rake o'student watching
the professor's head raising
again grinning --
'oh,
wouldn't you like to know
which way round i have the puzzles
half of you ...
split in to two groups please ...
yes, that's right ...
even groups please ...
no not you lot together again ...
gentlemen, i use the term loosely ...
you will skew the statistics ...
you will make your group odd ...
and you, yes you two ...
if you would just disentangle yourselves
for a little while ...
there, oh yes there, there do we have it ...
does it feel strange, the separation ...
like swimming in air you say...
no you can stay in the same group if you wish ...
wait, you may skew the statistics ...
but stay together you may ...
but do do the puzzle by yourselves ...
remember this is a experiment
no winners, no losers
so copying need no please ...
yes,
there we have it ...
two lines ...
roll up,
roll up '
the students file past the piles
each taking one sheet
'what's the story professor' -- i venture
again over prinz-neeze professor staring --
'i know you from somewhere,
do i not
wait, wait what's that spot ...
it's very misty
was it a dream ...
wait it's clearing ...'
'professor' -- i caution
the prof continues --
'... no, no don't tell me
some place dense ...
some fig-roll of my imagination mayhaps
oh yes, that's the place ...
parties ...
you always appear at parties ...
and seldom appear in class'
'i go to the vital ones professor ...' -- re-venturing i
'... but what's the story balamory
what gives with the crosswords'
'ah that story ...'
-- began the professor --
'i thought you were being reflective ...
... the story we are testing here
is this one:
one is more likely to solve crosswords
that have already been solved elsewhere'
i went next --
'i've heard a tale professor
about a female monkey
living in an island colony
dipping fruit in to the sea
to supplement its offspring's
mineral diet,
the island colony picked up this behavior first
and then it appeared to replicate
in various monkey colonies
world over
professor ...
are you suggesting that we are monkeys'
professor grinning batted it back to me --
'monkeys have tales
and let us put it this way ...
i maybe suggesting
that we maybe human ...
what ever that means ...
... are you in a rush somewhere
there's a question we ought to ask'
'me professor me timeless and undesiring ...
but a bit like a fish out of water
all the same ...'
professor head sadly shaking --
'now you are in a bog elliot
i won't keep you long
one time-unit only
solely the lonely
oh fish, oh fishy
so little matters'
me replying nodding fishing
dredging dark dank boots
head laced footballs replaying --
'aren't we all in a bog though e.t.'
'oh fishy mayhaps you'd like
you'd like, you like some fresh air'
-- the professor head still shaking
fishes in to up-turned hat
producing two long pencils
like poppins from her kit bag
passes dummys one to me
i pencil use
out-pointing
creamy white stain
upon said up-turned hat
'what's that' -- i venture
'mmm ... rice pudding me thinks'
-- glints the professor unabashed
puts on dripping hat
turning slowly now tap dansing
twirling white secondary stain
turquoise flaps tail strains'
'two helpings,
were you hungry professor'
-- i venture
'no not me ...'
-- still glinting
'... france was hungry
i was cooking
and i cooking slipped
in to the cooking mix'
'were you moonlighting then'
-- i venture
'well
paid work's nice if you can get'
-- chirps professor tap danser
'how do i look
do i max an x factor
cooking pudding on my top hat
pudding cooking on my tales'
the professor now slowly bending under
pun strain, begins rolling pin up
redundant crossword
tightly round long pencil
nodding and leading me
copy
i reflect the professor's rolling
around on the floor,
an other re purpose puzzle
completing pace meeting
thick gummed long edge lick sticking
close envelope
held mace fist til fastened
'snakey shakey' -- motions nows professor
paper-straw waggling
pencil ejecting
i shakey too snakey
popping pencil in concert
'now ...' -- continues the professor
'... here's the rub --
these two straws burn unevenly
unsame crossword patterns
but both these straws same burn-time
two time-units burn exactly
burn from to end-to-end
question:
a) can you make
a method of measuring
exactly one time-unit burn
from these two two-time-unit straws
... and ...
here's the unpicking penelope ...
b) what kind of thing am i after,
what am i asking you to manufacture'
-- the professor crane bends then
wrist flips paper scripts
straws spinning in either
contracting fusing
dimension jumping
shortens straws shizam --
size of builders pencils
catches sticks behind cor ears --
'court fishy
one lame king is another's dishy'
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